Solitary
by almostsophie1
Summary: Anders has been in solitary for a week now, and Elina Amell can't wait any longer. She goes to see Anders, and discovers the truth of solitary and decides to do whatever it takes to get the Knight-Commander to put an end to the brutality of the Templars. (Set in the Circle Tower, some language and violence. I don't think the rating is quite M, but it's definitely dark.)
1. Chapter 1- The Truth

_Solitary- The Truth_

Elina Amell had always followed the rules. She was quick to learn that in the Circle, there was a heavy price to be paid for disobedience. But now, as she paced the floor of the library, she thought she might be forced to break a few rules after all her years of piety.

"Jowan," she said suddenly to the dark-haired mage who had been watching her ponder. "I'm really worried now."

"You've been worried every time, Elina," Jowan answered with a sigh. "And he always comes back in one piece." He'd been trying to concentrate on his book, but Elina's agitation was radiating off of her in waves, distracting him. She always worried too much.

Elina plopped herself down in the chair next to Jowan, keeping her voice low as to not be overheard by Senior Enchanter Torrin, who was practicing with one of the younger apprentices across the library. "It was different this time, and you know it. It wasn't his usual smart mouthing. He _attacked_ a Templar."

"The Templar instigated it first," Jowan answered, though he knew it hardly mattered. He tried calming Elina by adding, "First Enchanter Irving wouldn't let anything terrible happen to him. Anders isn't dangerous, just hot-headed. And everyone knows it."

Elina tapped her fingers impatiently on the table in front of her for a few moments before getting to her feet. "Anders has been in solitary for a week now. I think that warrants me asking the Knight-Commander about it." She'd already tried asking the First Enchanter, but he was prohibited from visiting mages when they were in solitary.

"That's not a good idea," Jowan answered quickly. Elina had always stayed in the good graces of the Templars, and Jowan wasn't keen on the idea of her getting on Greagoirs's bad side in any way. "Just wait a few more days. I'm sure he'll be out then."

"He's our friend, Jowan!" Elina gave the mage a frustrated look. Her eyes, usually a light blue, turned gray whenever she was upset. Now, they were a stormy color, and her voice was tight as she said, "Anders doesn't tell us what goes on in solitary, but you've seen how weak he is every time he gets out. And he limps, like he's been hurt."

Jowan finally closed his book, giving up completely on getting anything done. "Elina, there's not anything we can do without getting in trouble ourselves. Do you want to end up in solitary, too?"

Her voice was practically a growl as she answered, "I don't expect you to come with me, so I don't know why I'm even continuing this conversation." She turned on her heel and stalked out of the library, leaving Jowan to try to remember if she'd ever spoken to him that way before.

Elina tore through the halls quickly, her tall and thin frame somehow seemed intimidating to the apprentices who passed her. When she reached the Knight- Commander's office, she had to take a deep breath before knocking, trying to keep herself calm- she didn't want to do anything rash, no matter how worried she was.

"Yes?" The Knight-Commander answered from inside.

Elina pushed the door open. "Knight-Commander, I wanted to speak with you," Elina swallowed hard, trying to balance the mixture of frustration and intimidation she felt. The Knight-Commander was sitting at his desk, writing. "It'll only take a moment."

"What is it?" Greagoir answered, slightly surprised to see the mage at all. Elina had always been well behaved and mostly kept to herself. Greagoir knew she had few friends. The boy Jowan followed her around, and she and Anders had formed a close friendship over the years. Greagoir had hoped Elina would be a good influence on Anders, but he never seemed to stop his trouble making ways.

"It's about Anders," Elina said, closing the door behind her. "He's been in solitary for over a week now, and I was worried. When will he be released?"

Greagoir looked at Elina closely before he put down the quill he'd been writing with. "When he will be released is up to my discretion and the Templars who have been watching him. He has not shown any remorse for his actions." Greagoir replied simply.

"Anders has his pride, Knight-Commander," Elina noticed her hands were shaking, so she balled them into fists, hoping Greagoir hadn't noticed. "I don't know if you heard, but the Templar hit him first. Anders was protecting himself."

The Knight-Commander stood from his chair and moved around to the front of his desk, while thinking it was curious the normally subdued Elina was refusing to back down. "I understand Anders was goading the Templar."

"But the Templar was the first to violence. Did your Templar receive solitary as well?" Elina couldn't stop the words from tumbling out of her mouth, and Greagoir's eyes widened. "Knight-Commander, I'm sorry if I'm being disrespectful, but Anders is a good person and my friend. And I may not know exactly what happens in solitary, but I see the mages who come out of it only a shadow of their former self. Anders has been strong every time he's gone into solitary, but I worry that this time, it will be too much."

Greagoir crossed his arms and found himself sighing deeply. He was not fond of solitary, but it was effective. The mages who went into solitary came back out much more docile and controllable. Anders, though, had yet to be any more manageable. "Solitary is necessary to keep order. Magic is dangerous, Apprentice Elina, you know that. And better than most."

Elina felt the words like a slap across her face. No one had brought up her past for years now, though she thought of it often herself. But to have someone remind her of what she did… She shook off the regret and shame that surfaced with Greagoir's words and told him, "Knight-Commander, please allow me to see Anders. Yes, I do know that magic is dangerous. So let me speak to my friend. He won't be broken by solitary, but he listens to me."

The Knight Commander leaned on his desk thoughtfully. He wasn't ready to let Anders out of solitary- not when he had reports that Anders still yelled out curses whenever he was brought food and tried to blow up the door to his cell only a few days before. The boy deserved months in solitary for his attitude. But he knew Elina was someone, even though she was not necessarily popular, who was respected by the other mages for her often wise words and patience. Maybe, since Anders was a close friend, Elina would be able to make him see some sense, just this once.

Greagoir nodded slowly. "I will allow you to speak with him, but I will not let him out. If his behavior in solitary improves after a conversation with you, I will lessen his time."

Elina knew that was the most she could get from him. And she really just wanted to see Anders, and make sure he was alright. "Thank you, Knight-Commander." Elina gave a brief curtsy, the action still a habit from her childhood days in Kirkwall.

"Come with me. I'll have one of the Templars take you to him now." Greagoir led the mage out of his office, wondering what possessed the girl to muster up so much nerve when Anders had been in solitary many times before. She might've realized that this time Anders had gone too far. Attacking a Templar was no small offense.

Greagoir glanced at the mage at his side as they walked. She was sixteen or maybe seventeen now, and pretty enough for him to consider what Templar to send with her. The Knight-Commander knew that some of his Templars weren't self-restrained and were often disrespectful of the mages, particularly the younger females. Of course, Greagoir didn't tolerate this, but the Templars often got away with their actions for far too long before Greagoir discovered them.

He saw the new recruit, Cullen, as they were about to reach the stairs and Greagoir paused. The boy was maybe a year or two older than Elina, and so far had been incredibly meek and well behaved. He trusted that Cullen would be able to lead Elina to solitary without trying anything… not in her best interest. Despite what the mages often said about Greagoir, he was not a brutal or evil man, though hardened and gruff.

"Cullen," Greagoir barked, causing the young Templar to practically jump to attention. "Take this mage to the holding cells. She's to speak with the mage Anders and then be brought back up by tonight. Do you understand?"

Elina, who had been walking silently with Greagoir, now looked at the Templar named Cullen with creeping fear. She didn't know the young Templar, but she had been hoping she could stay with Greagoir. While she didn't particularly like the Knight-Commander, she at least knew she was safe with him.

"Yes, ser." Cullen answered, intimidated by his gray-haired superior.

"Well, go on," Greagoir told them, before turning and leaving Elina with the Templar, needing to get back to the letter he'd been writing to King Cailan about the condition of the tower.

Elina and Cullen looked at each other, both unaware that the other was equally as nervous and wary as they were. "I… um… I suppose w-we'll go now." Cullen told Elina shyly. He was grateful he wasn't actually taking her to stay in solitary. He'd only been down to the cells once, and he hadn't wanted to go back to the dark and damp place where the some of the other Templars abused the mages.

Elina nodded. "Lead on. I will follow," she answered. She'd witnessed the brutality of some of the Templars, but had only been subject to it only twice. The Templar Frederick had cornered her once in the library when she'd been out past curfew. She had fallen asleep at the table. Frederick had found her there, and as she tried to leave, and grabbed her wrist and pinned her against one of the shelves. He'd told her to not make a sound, looking at her with crazed eyes. He'd leaned toward her, and Elina remembered squeezing her eyes shut just as Anders had called her name. Realizing she hadn't come to bed in the apprentice's quarters, he had gone out to look for her.

Elina hadn't said anything as she squirmed out of Frederick's hold and hurried to see Anders. But when Anders had seen the Templar stalk out from between the shelves to threaten the mages for being out past curfew, Anders had put the pieces together, and wrapped his arm protectively around Elina's shoulders as they walked back to the apprentice quarters together.

The second time, Elina had been present when one of the more outspoken apprentices called the Templar a few unsavory names. As the Templar raised a hand to hit the apprentice, Elina stepped between them. "Move," the Templar had snarled at her. When she refused, he simply hit her so hard she was thrown to the floor.

Elina watched Cullen closely now, as she followed just a step behind him. She knew it was wrong to view all Templars the same way. There were some genuinely kind men who were among them. But Elina was always wary, and always prepared for the worst. And it had served her well.

"I, uh. We're almost there," Cullen said as they reached the steps leading to the basement. "I'll ask someone once we're inside where, uh..." Cullen cursed himself internally, having forgotten the name of the mage they were supposed to find.

"Anders." Elina supplied automatically. Her hands had started to shake again. She'd never wanted to step foot in solitary. But she had to at least try for Anders.

Cullen nodded his head up and down so quickly Elina was almost amused, had it not been for her heart pounding in her chest. "Right. Anders. I'll ask them which cell he's in," Cullen finished as they went down the steps. The air was already getting colder. Cullen reached the guard standing outside of the cell unit and said, "The Knight-Commander ordered me to take this mage to speak with Anders. I'm then to bring her back tonight."

The Templar looked from Cullen to Elina, then told them, "Michael is with the bastard right now. You can wait."

Elina felt goose bumps raise on her arms. Whatever Michael was doing with Anders, it wasn't simply a lecture on rule following. "The Knight-Commander…" she broke off as the Templar gave her a fierce glare. She swallowed hard and tried again. "The Knight-Commander gave me permission to speak with Anders. And I want to go in now."

The Templar standing guard snorted and proceeded to smirk at Elina as he said, "You could go in now if you wanted. But I don't think you want to, girl."

Elina's breath caught in her throat, and she made a squeaking noise. She then steeled herself as she answered in a voice much stronger than she thought she was capable of, "Please take me in now."

Raising an eyebrow the Templar said, "Very well. Just stay out of the way, or you'll end up in solitary as well. Cullen, you're not needed any more. Return to your duties."

Elina looked back at Cullen. The bumbling curly-haired Templar was much less frightening than the Templar she spoke to now. Cullen caught her panicked gaze, but there wasn't much he could do as the newest recruit. He saluted sharply and turned, glancing over his shoulder at the young mage as he returned up the stairs.

"Let's get this over with, then, shall we?" The guard was still smirking as he opened the door to the cells for Elina. Cold air rushed to meet her, along with a pained groan coming from somewhere down the hall.

The lighting was dark, only a few torches flickering on the walls. "Go on, unless you've changed your mind." The Templar put a rough hand on Elina's shoulder, forcing her past the doorway.

Elina took a few more steps in before someone cried out again. As her eyes adjusted to the light, she could see that one of the cells had an open door. The Templar pointed to it. "That one is where Anders is. He's being taught a lesson, right now. The bastard tried to blast his way out of the cell a few days ago. He needs to learn his place."

Elina moved, only half aware of her footsteps, until she heard another agonized shout. She ran the remaining steps to the cell and, from the light in the hall, could see a fully armored Templar kicking a crumpled form that was curled up on the ground.

"Anders!" She gasped. She felt a kick to her side as she dropped to the ground in front of Anders, trying to cover him with her own body.

"What is this?" The Templar roared angrily, and he kicked again, this time his foot coming in contact with Elina's spine.

"Knight-Commander's orders," the Templar who'd shown Elina inside answered. "You've had your fun, Michael. Lock them in there. We have to get the bitch back out at nightfall."

There was a grumble, and then the door to the cell swung shut, leaving the mages in complete darkness. Anders groaned, and Elina clutched her side where the Templar had kicked her. "Anders, it's me," she managed to say, her whole body convulsing with tremors.

"Andraste help me," Anders rasped. "Elina?"

"Yes, I'm here. Hold on, I'm going to get some light." Elina told him as her shaking began to lessen.

"Don't-" Anders tried to say, but Elina had already summoned a wisp. In the dim light the little ball gave off, Elina looked at Anders's face for the first time in a week and felt her eyes widen in horror.

His lip was bleeding, his skin stretched across cheekbones that were now jutting out from his face, a purpling bruise across his forehead and a fading bruise on his chin. He was shivering in the cold of the basement.

"Maker," Elina gasped. "Anders." She couldn't think of any other words to say as Anders's face contorted with pain. She took off the outer layer of her robe, placing it over Anders like a blanket.

Anders tried to sit up, and Elina quickly helped him, supporting his arm. He had his other arm arm clutching across his lower chest. Elina's hands were trembling as she reached out to touch his cheeks. "What have they done to you?" She felt tears well up in her eyes.

"I'm alright, Elina," Anders said softly, catching her hands with his own. "But you shouldn't be here. Please tell me you weren't sent here. Please."

Elina shook her head, refusing to blink and let her tears free. "No. I convinced the Knight-Commander to let me see you. I was worried that it was going to be worse for you this time. And I was right." She used her magic to probe Anders's body, a pale green light growing from her fingers. He had a cracked rib, a fracture on his shin, and bruises everywhere. Elina felt her eyes sting, but she didn't want to cry when Anders was the one who'd been tortured.

"Don't heal me," Anders said in a low voice when he felt Elina's magic. "If they notice, they'll beat me more next time." While Anders had never wanted Elina to see him like this, he was selfishly glad she was here, though in danger, because _he_ could see her. Her full lips were twitching with barely contained emotion, and he could sense her anger, fear and worry. But she shouldn't be here. There were things much worse than beatings that went on in solitary. He forced himself to let go of her hands. "You should get out of here. Now."

Elina's hands dropped from his face. "No. I'm not leaving you. The Templars can't do this. If Greagoir knew-"

"He'd tell them to stop?" Anders interrupted bitterly. "Greagoir knows what goes on. He thinks it's necessary. After all, he fears magic more than he does the evil in his own men. The evil things that go on under his own nose." Anders hissed in pain as he tried to straighten.

Elina reached out to support him again, leaning him against the back wall of the tiny cell. "I have to try _something_." Elina answered, her voice betraying her emotions. "I told Jowan I thought they were going to be harder on you this time, since you used your magic against a Templar. But if I had known… if I had known what they were doing to you, I would've come sooner. I'm so sorry, Anders." She reached out, with one hand this time, to gently touch the side of his head, cradling it.

"It's not your fault, Elina. But you really need to get out of here," it hurt Anders to speak, his chest protesting. But Elina was watching him with such concern; he didn't want her to worry further.

"You're not going to make me leave." Elina shot back. "I may not be able to heal you, but I can still help." Her hand glowed green again as she sent out waves of mana into Anders. He closed his eyes. It felt like sunshine and summer breeze to Anders, and when he opened his eyes again, Elina's face was only inches from his own, her own eyes closed in concentration. The wisp cast minimal light, throwing shadows across Elina's features. Anders had always found her unconventionally beautiful. She had a long nose and round cheeks, with a stubborn chin. But she had soft lips—her only feature that gave away how vulnerable she was underneath her defenses. The closeness made him want to kiss her now, as he'd done once before when he'd found her napping in the sunlight streaming through one of the tower's large windows, like a cat. He'd almost wanted her to wake up so he could reveal to her his harbored feelings, but she'd continued sleeping.

Anders leaned in until their foreheads touched, and Elina opened her eyes. Though usually different shades of blue, they turned green when she used her magic. It was Anders's favorite color for her. "Elina, please leave now." Anders breathed, which was not at all what Elina had been expecting. Anders sensed her distress and said quietly, "I don't want the Templars to have any reason to hurt you."

"They've been hurting _you_, Anders. And while I'm obviously not looking for a beating, I'm not leaving you until I say what I need to." Elina told him, straightening up, breaking the contact.

"Then tell me," Anders said, suddenly feeling much colder as Elina pulled away. "Tell me and please go."

Elina leaned her head against the wall next to him, their arms resting comfortably against each other. "Greaogir said he would lessen your time if he saw an improvement in your behavior. And I know you tried blasting your way out of here a few days ago."

"So… you're telling me to be a good little bastard and let the Templars beat me as they wish?" Anders asked with a humorless laugh.

"I knew before that things were bad in solitary. I didn't realize how bad." Elina said in a small voice. "All I can ask is that you don't try breaking out again, and don't talk back to the Templars. I'll see if I can get Greagoir to let you out. I'm going to tell him what really goes on here. He would stop this madness if he knew."

Anders turned his gaze away from Elina, saying, "Greagoir has been down here before. The Templars aren't as brutal when he's around. And it's not as if he actually cares about any of the mages."

"He wouldn't stand for this. I can speak to the First Enchanter as well," Elina felt her eyes fill with tears again. "I'll do anything and everything I can, Anders."

"Since the Templars reported to the Knight-Commander that I tried to escape, he won't want to listen to anything you have to say." Anders replied with a sigh that agonized his ribs. "Elina, you _can't _do anything."

"We'll I'm damn well going to try anyway," Elina snapped, her voice lashing out like a whip in the poorly lit cell.

Anders looked at her, shocked at her response. Her anger filled the cell, and he could see her visibly trying to calm herself down, as she took deep breaths. "I didn't mean to make it sound-"

"Please don't say anything," she answered through gritted teeth. She was furious. Her friends had been in solitary before. They never wanted to speak of it, and now she knew why. Every time they came down here, they were beaten until half-dead, powerless to do anything. She forced herself to clear her mind, concentrating on breathing slowly.

Her anger was slowly dissipating, and instead now Anders could feel extreme distress. Elina was a unique mage in this respect—her feelings always manifested themselves around her through magic, making it easy for other mages to pick up on her emotions.

After a several moments of silence, she let out a breath she'd been holding and looked at Anders again. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get angry." The words of the Knight-Commander from earlier in the day rang in her ears. 'You know how dangerous magic is better than anyone.'

Elina still relived that moment sometimes, the horror never truly going away. She had been only seven years old in Kirkwall. There were several other children her age that had always disliked her, always teased her at every opportunity. She remembered the one fall day she'd been playing, throwing a ball to a stray dog who'd taken a liking to her. She loved scratching the pup behind his ears and frequently talked to him about her day or the weather.

_The other children found her and begun their merciless teasing, and Elina was almost accustomed to their harsh words and name-calling now. She still tried to get away from them when she could. Now, she called the stray dog back to her, afraid that the children might resort to hitting her this time. "At least the dog likes her," one of the little girls taunted. "The dog's stupid enough not to mind her stutter."_

_ "S-s-stop," Elina tried to sound menacing, but failed. "L-leave me a-alone."_

_ They all laughed at her, and the meanest girl in the group pushed her to the ground. The dog, dubbed Prince by Elina, growled at Elina's attacker and scrabbled over to her side._

_ "The mutt really does like her," another child had scoffed. "Get out of here," he aimed a kick at Prince, who yelped, but immediately scuttled back to where Elina was trying to get to her feet._

_ When the boy advanced toward Elina threateningly, Prince sunk his teeth into the boy's leg. With a yelp, the boy shook the dog off._

_ "That thing is feral!" The boy shouted at Elina. "What are you doing keeping a thing like that around?"_

_ One of the girls snarled, "Kill it. It's probably dangerous."_

_ "No!" Elina shouted as the boy drew a knife from his belt. "No, stop! He's n-not going to hurt a-anyone."_

_ "Hold it down and I'll knife it," the boy ordered, and two of the girls reached to grab Prince, who was barking._

_ "Stop!" Elina wailed, Prince yowling as the girls managed to grab him, though they squealed as his teeth snapped close to their arms. The boy advanced with the knife, trying not to be bitten by the dog's gnashing jaw. "STOP!" Elina couldn't control herself. There was a rumble almost like thunder and lightning fizzled out from her, though she didn't know what she was doing. It lashed out in a cloud, and the children's terrified screams split through the air. _

_ Elina gasped, dropping to her knees as the cloud vanished. The children were motionless on the ground. Elina looked around in horror before she started screaming, calling for anyone. "Help!" She cried between sobs. It was minutes before someone finally came, finding a seven year old girl kneeling amidst bodies, hysterical, saying as her body shook, "Help them. I didn't m-mean to… I didn't mean to… I d-didn't want to… Help. Help. Please."_

"Elina," Anders repeated her name, taking her hand to try to lessen the waves of fear and… guilt? Was it guilt he felt from her?

"It's dangerous for me to be angry," Elina said quietly. "I don't want to hurt anyone ever again. But that doesn't mean I can't fight against something so wrong." Her eyes moved to Anders. She'd been so careful for so long, following all of the rules and remaining half-ignorant of the things the Templars did. But looking at Anders's face now, bruised, starved, and bleeding, she wasn't going to let her own fear of herself stop her from doing what was right.

"What are you talking about?" Anders asked, but Elina wasn't meeting his eyes now, as she looked straight in front of her.

"I'm going to do something about the Templars. I'm going to make the Knight-Commander see. And I'm going to do it without hurting anyone." She got to her feet.

Anders tried to stand, but cringed at the tendrils of pain that shot through his body. He sank back to the floor. "Elina, I don't know what you're thinking about doing, but please be careful." Anders pleaded.

Elina didn't respond, but knocked on the cell door. "I'm ready to leave, now. Let me out of here." She shouted. She had already set her mind on what she was going to do, so she ignored the part of her brain, maybe her common sense, that was telling her she was being foolish and would get herself killed.

The door to the cell swung open. "That was a short visit," the Templar who'd been beating Anders before now glared at Elina.

"The Knight-Commander is expecting me," Elina told him in a shaking voice. She pushed on, "Don't you dare touch Anders again, you bastard."

"What did you call me?" The Templar leaned in dangerously close to her face, but Elina refused to take a step back.

Anders, ignoring the pain, braced himself against the wall as he stood. "Elina, stop." He told her quickly, not understanding her sudden change in attitude. Had she gone crazy?

"I said, don't you dare touch Anders again, bastard." Elina took a shaky breath and braced herself for what was to come.


	2. Chapter 2- Whatever It Takes

_Solitary- Whatever it Takes_

Elina tried to raise her arms over her face, and she felt the impact of the Templar's steel shoe on her wrist as she did so.

"STOP! STOP!" Anders shouted again, his voice breaking as he watched Elina, crumpled on the floor, receive yet another kick.

The Templar who'd stood guard outside had joined in with Anders's tormentor. The guard was the one holding Anders back now, keeping the mage from casting spells as he desperately tried to get to Elina.

Elina tried to block out Anders's voice, tears already rolling down her cheeks. She'd been thrown against the wall, punched, and now defenseless on the cold stone floor of solitary, kicked.

Elina hadn't thought out her plan's details. There wasn't enough time—or maybe she was just being rash. But the Knight-Commander was expecting her return tonight, and would have to at least check to see why she hadn't come back up. Of all the mages, she knew the Knight-Commander trusted her most among the apprentices.

The others who came out of solitary never spoke of their experience to anyone. Many of them cried softly to themselves, or shouted in their dreams, but they were too afraid, too ashamed, to say anything. Elina understood that now. She'd resolved to get herself the full solitary treatment and _show _the Knight-Commander what happened to mages at the hands of his own men. She would make him see.

Another kick caught her ribs, and she couldn't stop a cry of pain from escaping her lips. Anders had gone from rage to defeat, pleading, "Please stop. Don't hurt her anymore. Stop. Please stop."

The guard holding Anders laughed. "Are you hearing this, Michael? After all of his stubbornness, refusing to beg… We should've just had the girl down here from the start and he would've been easy to tame."

The blows coming at Elina stopped for a moment. "Your little lover seems to be quite riled up, mage," the Templar, Michael taunted Elina, leaning down over her. "Did you hear that? He's begging for us to stop."

Elina slowly uncovered her face, looking past Michael to Anders. Before, his eyes had been crazed. Now, he looked defeated, sagging as the guard held his hands behind his back, kneeling with his chin to his chest. He raised his head slowly, his face covered in scratches and new purpling bruises in addition to the older ones.

"I was the one you wanted to hurt," Elina rasped, turning to look at Michael, whose face was inches from her own as he squatted next to her. "Just put Anders back into his cell."

Michael chuckled darkly, and grabbing Elina's hair, forced her to her feet as he stood. She could barely stay up, swaying. "They're trying to protect each other," Michael looked to the other Templar with a smirk. "Let me teach you both a lesson," his voice suddenly snarled, the sick smile wiped off of his face. He pushed Elina against the wall, still holding onto her hair, and leaned in until Elina could feel his breath on her cheeks.

Anders writhed, trying to get out of the guard's hold, or at least to stand up. "Stay away from her!" Anders yelled, bursts of rage shooting through him as Michael used his free hand to grasp Elina's chin and turn her face up. "TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF OF HER!" Anders was desperate now, and as he gathered the last his strength to cast a spell, the guard drained his power away in a burning flash of light that burst behind Anders's eyes.

"Fool," the guard muttered.

With his mana drained, Anders collapsed to the floor, and the guard let go of him. Anders could only watch with darkened vision, his limbs not even responding to his mind's commands.

"Anders," Elina tried calling out to him weakly, but he didn't, or maybe couldn't, respond. _Anders has to get through this. _It was because of Elina's half-thought through idea that he was motionless before her now.

"You mages need to learn your place," Michael sneered to Elina, tipping her face up to his, drawing her eyes away from Anders. "You are nothing more than abominations. A scar on the face of the world. At the most, you are the playthings of the more powerful, of the Templars. We'll use you when we need to. And maybe," he grinned at Elina, then said loud enough for Anders to hear, goading him, "maybe I need to use you now."

Anders could barely make his mouth move, a whimpered, "No," was the most he could say as he watched his friend, the girl he secretly loved, threatened and manhandled by the Templars.

Elina couldn't think anymore. All she felt was pain, and every word Michael said drove another spike through her. Michael's hand was still on her chin, his other hand in her hair. Her body convulsed in fear. "The Knight-Commander." Elina gasped for breath. "The Knight-Commander is expecting me to return."

"It's true, Michael. Cullen brought her down and passed along the message. We'll have to ask for permission if we're going to keep her down here." The guard supplied. He kicked Anders once for good measure before continuing, "We still have him until the Knight-Commander says so. I think it's best if we let the girl go now."

Elina felt her breath catch in her throat as Michael yanked her hair roughly again. "I may have to let you go now, mage, but don't forget anything that I've said. You're worthless scum, just like the other mages. And if you speak of this to anyone," Michael jerked her chin up and moved his mouth barely a hair away from her own. She felt her stomach churn. "I will find you. And next time, I'll teach you a more _intimate_ lesson. Do you understand me?"

Tears were streaming from Elina's eyes now, and she couldn't pull away from Michael's grasp. "Y-yes." Elina choked out. Michael backed away, letting go of her, and Elina sank to the floor, placing her hand over her own mouth so she wouldn't scream.

Anders tried to crawl over to her. "Elina," he beseeched her to look at him, but Michael heaved him to his feet and threw him into the cell, where Anders finally felt darkness wash over him.

"Get her out of here," Michael said to the other guard as he locked the door to Anders's cell.

The guard advanced on Elina, who had her face buried in her knees, her body wracked with sobs. "You've caused enough trouble for the day, mage," the guard told her. "It's time for you to leave."

It was Jowan's turn to worry now. He knew Elina was no fool, but she'd always trusted the Templars too much. Jowan almost set his hair on fire as Senior Enchanter Wynne chided, "Jowan, your mind is wandering. Focus, lest you do something more than singe yourself."

"I'm sorry," Jowan answered quickly, glad it was Wynne he was practicing with now and not an Enchanter with less patience. Jowan should've gone with Elina to speak with the Knight-Commander, that much he knew. Jowan had asked around, only to discover Elina had been led down to solitary with one of the Templars. Now both of his friends were being subject to whatever the Templars did to mages down in solitary.

Wynne sighed, seeing that Jowan was already lost in thought again. "Perhaps it is better for us to end our lesson here. I think you should get some sleep, Jowan." Wynne left the study in which they were practicing, shaking her head and muttering to herself.

Jowan chewed on his bottom lip, not noticing that the room was beginning to smell a bit like burnt hair. Just how much violence were the Templars capable of?

Elina had always insisted that not all Templars were as terrible as the mages made them out to be. In fact, Elina had befriended two of the Templars before. Jowan had only heard of the first one, since he'd come to the tower after Elina. When she'd been brought in as a child, one of the older Templars had watched over her, and acted as an almost grandfather. Elina told Jowan once, "He said I looked like his daughter, who'd died very young. He was always so kind to me." The Templar had retired, however, and Elina hadn't seen him again since. The other Templar Jowan had known; the young Templar's name was Everett, and he'd been quite good-natured and charming. Everett had hailed from Kirkwall, Elina's original home, and she'd asked him many questions about how it had changed. Everett had been transferred back to the Kirkwall Circle just several months ago. Jowan and Anders had both refused to fraternize with Everett, despite Elina's insistence he was a good man.

All the old Templar and Everett had done was lulled Elina into a false sense of security with the Templars. Elina always defended the Templars against the generalizations that other mages, including Jowan and Anders, tried to make. And now, Elina was in solitary, probably discovering the true ways of the Templars.

Jowan could almost hear her voice answering his thought, saying, "Jowan! Just as there are bad Templars and good mages, there are good Templars and bad mages. Don't paint all of them with the same brush."

"Jowan!" Brenna, one of the youngest apprentices, burst into the study. "Elina's back! Elina's back from solitary already. She won't talk to anyone. She's just sitting in the far corner of the dormitory by herself." The little girl looked proud of herself for finding Jowan and telling him the news, so she was disgruntled when Jowan rushed past her without a word of thanks.

_She's back. She's safe. _Jowan thanked the Maker for Elina's return as he ran down the stairs to the apprentice quarters. Since it was nightfall, many of the apprentices were beginning to head to dinner, so the dormitories were almost empty when Jowan entered. "Elina?" He called, his eyes searching through the sea of bunk beds. He could sense her there, though. Jowan was better than most at picking up on the waves of her emotions mingled with her magic. She was feeling something Jowan couldn't recognize, though it made the hair on the back of his neck stand up.

She was in the far corner of the room, almost completely hidden by a storage trunk. "Elina," Jowan breathed a sigh of relief, only to have his expression melt to horror as he saw her face. Bruised, bloody, swollen. She was clutching her left wrist with one hand. But her eyes were the worst of all. They were flat black. Jowan had never seen them like that before. "Andraste's mercy," Jowan gasped. He quickly knelt down in front of her, wishing he had learned healing magic. "Elina, what happened?"

She didn't answer, and Jowan saw only now that her eyes were filled with tears. That was the only spark of emotion on her face. Her lips were slightly parted, her bloodied face relaxed.

"I'm going to get Wynne," Jowan finally said, unable to stare at his friend's beaten appearance any longer.

"Don't." Elina's voice cracked just on that one word.

Jowan's brow furrowed. "Elina, you're bleeding. And your wrist might be fractured from the look of it. You need to see someone with healing magic, even it it's not Wynne."

"I can't," Elina said again, her black eyes holding Jowan's. "I can't." She repeated again, this time barely audibly. She shuddered, and Jowan noticed her outer robe was missing.

He quickly stood and grabbed a blanket from where it was slung over the back of a chair. He draped it over Elina's shoulders, careful not to put to much pressure on her, knowing the Templars had most likely made the rest of Elina's body match her face. It made him furious just thinking about it.

"Elina, what happened? I heard you were taken to solitary, but now it seems they released you almost immediately." Jowan sat down in front of her, resisting his thoughts of simply picking up Elina and carrying her to a healer.

"I was just going down to speak to Anders," Elina whispered. She was ashamed of herself. No, disgusted. She should've gone straight to the Knight-Commander and told him about what happened. That was what she had planned to do. But she couldn't. She'd staggered up the stairs from solitary, shaking and crying. She didn't want to be seen by anyone. She wanted to hide, to disappear, to just not exist any more.

Michael's words still echoed through her mind, making her breath catch. _"And if you tell anyone, I will find you. And next time, I'll teach you a more _intimate_ lesson. Do you understand me?"_

Elina understood. She thought she was going to be sick.

Jowan could feel a more understandable emotion now. Fear. Elina was terrified, though Jowan didn't know the specifics. "You're alright now. You're safe." Jowan murmured quickly, unsure of what to do.

"Anders is still down there." Elina choked. "They're going to keep hurting him. He's already half-dead. But they're not going to stop."

"There's nothing you can do about it, Elina," Jowan said softly, trying to comfort her but knowing that he was failing miserably.

Elina's eyes suddenly shifted, the colors swirling in a way that Jowan felt himself afraid of her for the first time. "I'm supposed to be doing something," Elina's voice was tight with rage, her eyes settling on an icy blue. "But I'm being stupid. I'm being weak."

"No. No, you're not. The Templars have too much power here." Jowan almost squeaked as he responded. The air around him was almost crackling. Magic was concentrating around them. "Elina," Jowan said urgently, trying not to panic. "Please calm down."

She rested her head on her knees, and Jowan could see her shoulders rise and fall as she tried to take deep breaths to steady herself. This is what she always did when she was frustrated or upset about something. Jowan had even gotten into the habit of doing it himself. Seeing her do this now made him feel slightly better. No matter how strange and terrifying she was at the moment, she was the same Elina that he'd always known. When she looked up at Jowan again, her eyes were the color Jowan was used to—a beautiful dark blue.

"I'm going to speak to the Knight-Commander now," Elina's voice was strong, but as she tried to stand she wobbled. Jowan had to spring to his feet and catch her around her waist.

Her wince didn't go unnoticed. "We should see Wynne first," Jowan told her as she shrugged the blanket off.

"No. I'm going to lose my nerve if I don't go now. And Greagory needs to see what the Templars do with his own eyes." Elina answered grimly. She was aware that she could barely walk now, the pain already making it hard to stand. "Jowan?"

"Yes?" Jowan hadn't released her yet. Her face was very close to his as she looked at him with a vulnerability Jowan rarely saw.

Elina swallowed hard. "I might need your help walking to the Knight-Commander's office. I know you won't want to stay, but-"

"Of course," Jowan interrupted her. He felt guilty enough for making her go on her own to the Knight-Commander the first time. He wasn't about to make the same mistake again.

Together, they walked out of the apprentice quarters. Well, Jowan walked and Elina leaned on him for support, her face much paler than usual as she tried to push aside her fear and ignore how much it hurt to move and breathe.

When they reached the Knight-Commander's office, Elina didn't let herself hesitate. She knew if she spent one second deliberating whether or not she should do this, she would turn tail and run. She knocked twice.

"What is it?" Greagoir's voice answered roughly though the door.

"Thank you," Elina breathed to Jowan. "You can leave now, if you want to." She forced herself to release her death grip she'd had around Jowan's arm.

Jowan shook his head. "No. I'm going with you this time."

Elina reached for the door and pushed it open, almost falling over in the process. Jowan caught her before she lost her balance entirely, and looked up to see the First Enchanter and the Knight-Commander watching the apprentices with a mixture of curiosity and impatience.

"What is it?" Greagoir demanded again, before taking in Elina's appearance. His mouth fell open before he could really react.

"Maker, Elina, what happened to you?" First Enchanter Irving immediately came toward Elina and Jowan.

"I need to speak with the Knight-Commander about what happened today," Elina managed to say to the First Enchanter. She let go of Jowan and staggered forward a few steps. "Knight-Commander, you gave me permission to go see Anders in solitary today, yes?" Elina's breath started coming in short, erratic bursts. She could still feel Michael's breath on her mouth. _If you tell anyone, I will find you._

"And… and what happened?" The Knight-Commander couldn't help sounding appalled, though he tried to appear calm. The mage's face was almost beyond recognition. The mild-mannered girl had obviously been beaten.

"The Templars you have stationed in solitary, Knight-Commander," Elina found that a lump in her throat made it extremely hard to speak. "Michael, and the other who stands guard outside. They'd beaten Anders. When I arrived Anders had a fractured shin and cracked rib in addition to his entire body covered in bruises from beatings." _And next time, I'll teach you a more _intimate _lesson. _Elina had to grab onto the Knight-Commander's desk to keep herself from collapsing. Jowan hurried to her side and placed his arm around her waist again.

"Greagoir," First Enchanter Irving rounded on the Knight-Commander. "This is not just keeping order. This is madness. This is abuse."

"Anders had attempted to blast open the door to his cell and escape," Greagoir turned away from the mages. "The apprentice is dangerous."

"No one deserves that torture." Elina said through a clenched jaw. "It was worse once I arrived. I… I was so furious… I called the Templar Michael a bastard. Then… then it was worse for both of us." She had to force the words out, her mind filled with a combination of sick fear, anger, and pain. "Anders probably needs medical attention right now."

Irving rounded on the Knight-Commander. "I trust you with my mages because I have no choice. But this has gone too far, Greagoir."

"I understand," the Knight-Commander faced the mages again. "Elina, go see a healer now. I will speak with Michael."

"No!" Elina shouted before her mind really had the chance to process her response. "No. You can't just speak with him. Please. Don't."

Greagoir's eyes narrowed as he stepped closer to the mage who was visibly shaking. "And what would you have me do, then? You bring news that my men are abusing the mages, yet you don't want me to act on it."

Elina shook her head, but immediately regretted the movement as she became incredibly dizzy and Jowan had to hold all of her weight as she leaned against him. "I'm sorry. Yes, something has to be done, Knight-Commander. Please, just do what you can to help Anders. Take a healer down with you. But please, don't leave the healer alone with the Templars. Don't leave _anyone_ alone with the guards in solitary." Elina blurted in a rush. "Just please see to Anders. Please. He's badly injured."

First Enchanter Irving looked at Greagoir with hard eyes. "We will go together, Greagoir. I think that would be adequate."

The Knight-Commander agreed, "While it is the rule that you aren't allowed to go into solitary, Irving, I believe the situation has changed. If the Templars are committing such crimes as the girl claims, I will see to it that it is stopped."

"Jowan, take Elina to Wynne." Irving ordered, running a hand over his graying beard.

"Yes, First Enchanter," Jowan answered, and the three mages and Templar left the room together, though Irving and Greagoir went down the stairs while Jowan and Elina moved, painfully, slowly, up.

Elina collapsed after only a few steps and Jowan had to kneel to the ground with her in his arms. "Hey, we're almost to Wynne. Anders is going to get help. You were amazing, El. Brilliant." Jowan told her, calling her by the pet name he'd used when they were younger.

She was trembling, and Jowan cradled her close. An apprentice walked by, slowing as he saw Jowan and Elina. Jowan said sharply to the boy, "Get Senior Enchanter Wynne, and bring her here now."

The apprentice nodded and scurried off with wide eyes, having heard about the pretty older mage's trip to solitary earlier in the day.

Elina's eyes were fluttering, and she croaked, "He might be coming for me." Her eyes burned as tears started rolling down her cheeks.

"No one's going to come for you, El. I'm right here. I'm going to stay with you, I promise. You're going to be alright." Jowan told her, using his thumb to wipe her tears away. Her shaking only grew worse.

"He's going to come for me," she whispered, struggling to keep her eyes open. Her wrist, her ribs, her face … all of her hurt.

"I'll stop him," Jowan told her, realizing now she was thinking of the Templars who had beaten her in solitary. "I'm not going to let anyone touch you."

Jowan's words only reminded her of Anders's, and she buried her face in Jowan's chest as he gently held her head. She was so afraid. There was a reason none of the mages had gone to Greagoir before. If Greagoir didn't do anything, Michael would come to her. Her would find her. He would punish her.

Fog overtook her mind, only hearing Anders screaming and feeling Michael's hand on her chin.


	3. Chapter 3- Power and Lies

_Solitary- Power and Lies_

Anders could only feel pain. Agonizing pain shooting from his feet to the corners of his mind. In the darkness of his cell, he could still see Elina pinned against the wall, Michael's hands in her hair, on her face.

He wanted to scream, but he couldn't even breathe without hurting. She'd been dragged away. Elina. Michael had leaned in, his lips on hers, whispering something. She'd been horrified, petrified with fear. He hadn't heard Michael's words, but her reaction was enough to wrench his heart in his chest.

He loved her. He loved her and he was powerless to stop the Templars. That's what it all came down to—power. The door to his cell creaked open, and streaks of light illuminated two silhouettes. The muted brightness burned Anders's eyes, and he lost consciousness again.

Jowan hadn't left Elina's side since she'd returned from solitary. After Wynne healed the worst of Elina's injuries, Jowan had carried Elina back to the dormitories. While Elina wasn't heavy, she was tall, with long limbs and not feather-light, so Jowan was relieved to enter the apprentice quarters, despite the apprentices who stood and gawked as he tried to gently set Elina down on her bed.

"She really went to solitary today?" Therese asked Jowan quietly. She was one of the older apprentices, and the others who'd gathered around Elina's bed waited eagerly for an answer.

"Yes," Jowan sighed, feeling rather exhausted. "But there's nothing to look at here. Go on," he shooed the younger apprentices away. They muttered to each other and cast glanced back Elina.

Therese hadn't moved, though. "She's my friend, too, Jowan. And I heard that the Knight-Commander and the First Enchanter went down to solitary together. What happened?"

Jowan rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand in annoyance. "I don't know much, alright? Just that the First Enchanter went with Greagoir to check on Anders." He sat at the foot of Elina's bed, and Therese, sensing she wouldn't get any more out of Jowan, moved to her own bed with one last glare at Jowan.

Elina rolled over, still unconscious. Wynne had cast a spell over Elina to help her sleep. Jowan watched his friend now and pulled a thin blanket over her as she curled up into a ball. She'd been so worried earlier in the day, and angrier than he'd seen her before. Then after solitary she was just terrified, but had somehow managed to confront the Knight-Commander.

Jowan leaned over to brush some of her tangled hair out of her eyes. Her golden-brown waves were always slightly disheveled. Jowan smiled thinking of the first time he'd met her.

_He was completely lost. The men and women in robes passed him by without a glance, and those his age looked at him with disinterest and ignored him as well. He was afraid of asking for directions. The mages might zap him into something. Or worse, if he asked one of the big men in armor… He wasn't sure what the big men would do, but he didn't think it would be very nice._

_ "Are you lost?" A girl about Jowan's age stopped in front of him, several books tucked underneath her arm. She had messy hair and round cheeks, and Jowan didn't know how to react to her._

_ "I'm not sure," Jowan answered in a small voice. The Enchanter-lady he met earlier had told him to find another Enchanter, but he'd been wandering since then._

_ The girl smiled at him. It wasn't a big grin, but Jowan liked the way her eyes crinkled around the edges. She told him kindly, "The Circle Tower is a bit confusing at first. I got turned around a lot my first month here. Where are you supposed to be going?"_

_ "To see Enchanter Dorrian," Jowan said. "If you just tell me what direction to go in, I can find my way." For some reason, the air around him felt different now that the girl was there. It felt like he was outside on a summer day, though he was still acutely aware they were trapped inside the Circle Tower in the middle of winter._

_ "Enchanter Dorrian?" The girl asked, and Jowan nodded. "That's the same direction I'm going. I can just take you there. It'll be fast." She gestured for him to follow and he did, falling in step next to her. Jowan was a bit shorter than her, but he thought her frizzy hair might've added a bit of height to her frame. She turned her large blue eyes on him. "I'm Elina. What's your name?"_

_ "Jowan," he replied. "Have you been here for very long?"_

_ "Two years," she said, but suddenly she frowned, and stopped walking. Her eyes moved to Jowan's neck. Jowan quickly raised his hands to cover up the burn mark. It was the most recent product from his mother's drunken fury. The night before he'd been taken away to the Circle, his mother had staggered into their small house and brandished the poker from the fire. Jowan hadn't been able to get away in time. He'd grown to big to hide under the bed, and could only cower in fear, crouched in the corner of their home as his mother had advanced on him._

_ Elina didn't say anything, but she reached toward his neck. Jowan instinctively flinched away. "I'm not going to hurt you," Elina told him soflty. She placed her hand over his own. Her eyes flashed green, and Jowan gasped in fear. But then he felt as if the sun was warming his skin. _

_ She pulled her hand back and Jowan's fingers moved along the spot on his neck where the burn mark had been. Now, there was nothing but smooth skin. Elina smiled again. "Healing magic," she said, as her eyes faded back to blue. "Come on." Without another word, or even a question as to how Jowan had been burned, Elina began walking again._

_ Jowan stood, dumbfounded for a few moments before hurrying after her._

And he'd been following her ever since.

Elina's eyes fluttered open as the other apprentices stirred. She blinked slowly, taking in the room around her before memories of yesterday crashed down. She jolted up into a sitting position, waking Jowan who'd fallen asleep at the foot of the bed, his toes resting on the ground, back stretched out on the mattress.

"You're awake?" Jowan muttered, rubbing his eyes as he sat up.

"What happened yesterday? We were outside the Knight-Commander's office… and then… What about Anders? Is he alright? Did the First Enchanter return?" Elina fired off questions, her eyes imploring Jowan for answers.

Jowan ran a hand through his hair. "Wynne came and healed you the best she could. And cast a sleeping spell on you for the night. Everyone just woke up, El. If you want to speak to the First Enchanter, we can go see him."

Elina nodded slowly, realizing that she must've seemed manic with all of her inquiries. She felt better after sleeping, no longer in pain thanks to Wynne. But she still felt her stomach in knots. At least she could think clearly for the first time since she'd gone into solitary. "Jowan…" she called his name quietly.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry about yesterday." Elina said simply. She sniffed and rubbed her nose with the back of her hand.

"What? Why are you apologizing?" Jowan asked, confused. He could feel that she was uneasy now, though much more calm that she'd been the day before.

Elina shook her head, raising her knees to her chest. "I was a disaster. Everything happened so fast once I went to see Anders. I had this ridiculous plan. I don't even know if it worked, or if it will work."

"What was the plan?"

Elina sighed, knowing she owed him an explanation. "When mages come out of solitary, they avoid other people. Especially the Templars. I never thought about it much, just that they were probably scared and weak. But once I saw Anders, I was just so _angry_. Jowan, solitary is a waking nightmare. And I was only there for a few hours." Elina shivered and drew the blanket closer to her. The apprentice quarters had emptied out, leaving Elina and Jowan alone. "I just wanted to do something, whatever it took, to put an end to what goes on in solitary. So I thought that I would goad the Templars into hitting me. I wanted to go straight to Greagoir after and show him, just from my face, what his men did in solitary. I trusted- still trust- that he will do something about it. But then Anders wouldn't stop trying to help me." Elina broke off.

Jowan squeezed his eyes shut. Elina was always the quiet kind of brave. The strong kind of brave that held Jowan together or kept Anders from doing something incredibly rash when everything else seemed to go wrong. He hadn't expected that she would be the foolish, yet selfless, kind of brave as well. "And they did more than just hit you once, Elina. Wynne said she was surprised you'd stayed conscious for as long as you did. What if you'd died?"

"I wasn't really thinking it through," Elina admitted, feeling a little embarrassed now at her own rashness. "And it was almost for nothing when I didn't go straight to the Knight-Commander. But I did eventually." She sniffed again and swung her feet to the floor. "And now I want to know what happened. He better have let the First Enchanter heal Anders," Elina muttered the last part darkly.

"Are you sure you're up for it?" Jowan asked her as they both stood. "You should probably eat something first."

Elina raised an eyebrow. "Thanks, mother, but I think I can handle an empty stomach." She gave him a small smile. Jowan actually laughed in relief. Elina would be alright. She ruffled his hair, saying, "You should go get breakfast, though. Andraste knows how grumpy you get if you skip meals."

Jowan answered in a voice of mock offense, "Is that any way to speak to your mother?" Elina's smile broadened now, but Jowan could still feel distress underneath her grin. "Let's go together. Come on."

The moment they stepped out of the apprentice quarters, Jowan could feel Elina's anxiety increase.

Elina looked over her shoulder, her eyes scanning the halls as they walked. She began breathing faster, fearing Michael would appear at any moment. She felt goose bumps raise on her arms. She wouldn't cry today, she promised herself. She was going to be stronger. Michael's threat would not stop her.

She knocked on the door of the Knight-Commander's office. "What?" the tired reply came.

Elina forced herself to give Jowan a small, reassuring smile before entering. Greagoir was at his desk, his elbows on his desk and his head in his hands. The First Enchanter was sitting across from him, looking equally exhausted.

"I was about to summon you," the Knight-Commander looked up as Elina and Jowan drew closer to the desk.

Elina gave her typical curtsy. "Knight-Commander," she greeted him. "Did you see Anders last night? Is he alright?"

"I healed the worst of his injuries," Irving answered. Now that Elina was closer, she could see the deep purple color underneath his eyes indicating that neither he nor the Knight-Commander had gotten sleep the night before.

"Thank you," Elina answered. She looked back to Greagoir. "Knight-Commander, may I ask what you thought of the conditions of solitary?" She could tell there was something heavy in the room. Whether that was Greagoir's guilt at his discovery of his Templar's abuse remained to be seen.

Greagoir sighed heavily and stood. "Apprentice Elina, I was informed by my men that you attempted to help Anders escape."

"What?" Elina's brow furrowed. "No! I did no such thing. And Anders was in no position to attempt any magic either."

First Enchanter Irving fixed his piercing eyes on Elina as he said, "They claim that you went into the cell to speak with Anders, and when you asked to be let out, tried to use magic to paralyze them and failed."

"That's not true," Elina answered with horror. "The most I did was… was to call the Templar Michael a bastard. I didn't use magic _once_. I don't even know any spells other than healing incantations!"

Greagoir raised his hand to rub his temple. "It is suspicious that you requested to see Anders in solitary, convinced me that you were going to implore Anders to be on his best behavior, then went into solitary and caused a scene, magic or no. Were you supposed to be a distraction so Anders could escape and you could plead innocence?"

"No!" Elina said again, her face contorting with frustration. Jowan put a hand on Elina's arm, which she shook off. "Knight-Commander, you've known me since I was seven years old. Do you really think I would try to help Anders escape solitary? What could I possibly hope to accomplish? We would've been stopped once we made it up the stairs!"

Irving frowned deeply. "I tried telling the Knight-Commander the same thing. Greagoir, the girl may have been rash in her anger when she disparaged the Templar, but she is intelligent enough to know that she and Anders couldn't have escaped the Circle entirely."

Greagoir turned his steely gaze on Elina. "All I have is the word of two of my men against your word. Anything Anders claims is worth nothing after all the trouble he's caused. I don't think you are a fool, Elina. But I have no proof that my men are lying."

"And what does your intuition tell you, Knight-Commander?" Elina's expression was fierce, her chin pushed forward stubbornly and her eyes like a storm. "Does your heart provide any insight?" Her mouth twitched as she spoke, her voice low.

Jowan felt her magic reaching out in the room as something very new to him. It was so close to anger, yet so different at the same time. It reminded him of the need to protect something, to hold something close and keep it safe, while barring teeth at anyone who tried to harm it.

The Knight-Commander watched the girl with an unreadable face. He felt a newfound respect for the mage. He'd always thought of her as a model apprentice—she did her work and remained out from trouble. But now, he was beginning to see that this quiet girl who kept to herself was a force to be reckoned with. He knew that Elina hadn't tried to break Anders out of solitary. He'd known that from the moment Michael and Damian had cast the blame on her. But he had no proof. If he wrote for Michael and Damian to be transferred elsewhere, they would only bring trouble to another circle.

Finally, Greagoir said, "I will keep a closer eye on solitary from now on, Apprentice. Michael and Damian will be switched out for the time being and kept under close watch." Better to have the misbehaving Templars under his own nose, where he could potentially get enough proof to banish them from the order.

Elina breathed deeply. "They will continue to abuse the mages, Knight-Commander."

"I told you, Michael and Damian will be under surveillance until-"

"That's not what I meant, Knight-Commander," Elina interrupted as politely as she could. She was proud of herself for even thinking of manners when her heart was racing as fast as it was. "Solitary itself is what needs to be changed. Mages who spend time in solitary don't learn to change their ways. They're just too ashamed and broken when they're released to cause any more trouble."

Greagoir sighed. He might respect Elina now, but he was growing equally frustrated with her stubbornness. "The point of solitary is to make mages rethink their actions and change their ways. I have told you I will replace Michael and Damian with other Templars. This is based solely on your word that there was abuse. I will only do this. That is my final word."

Elina felt heat rise in her cheeks. She wasn't used to being chastised, and even through the mess of emotions fighting in her head, she was still embarrassed to be reprimanded. "I'm sorry, Knight-Commander," she said without thinking, though not really apologetic. It was a habit that she'd formed to always seek forgiveness for things as simple as walking too close to someone's path. But she didn't want to say she was sorry now. Not when she knew she was right about this.

"If that's all, I suggest you return to your lessons and stay out of trouble for the next several weeks. Michael and Damian were trying to convince me to put you in solitary." The Knight-Commander told her.

First Enchanter Irving, who'd remained quiet while Greagoir and Elina spoke, said, "Greagoir, I think it's clear to everyone in this room that Elina and Anders didn't try to break out of any cell. Anything Michael and Damian say should have no merit." The First Enchanter rose from his seat. The Knight-Commander sighed tiredly, but didn't disagree.

"First Enchanter, is Anders… is he in less pain now?" Elina asked him.

The First Enchanter sent an undisguised glare to Greagoir as he replied, "I didn't get much time with him, but I was able to undo some of the damage." Greagoir decided not to tell Elina that Anders had, in fact, nearly died. If Irving hadn't seen to Anders when he did, Anders wouldn't have made it to morning. "Excuse me, then," Irving said as he left the Knight-Commander's office.

Elina felt a wave of relief wash over her that First Enchanter Irving had at least healed Anders as much as the moment allowed. She looked at Greagoir and bit her lip. "Knight-Commander," Elina began as Greagoir sat back down at his desk, almost in defeat. "I would ask you to please think on the necessity of solitary. If what I experienced yesterday was what mages in solitary go through every time…" Elina forced herself to meet Greagoir's eyes and mustered the nerve to continue, "then sending mages to solitary is just allowing them to be tortured, abused in a way that any decent person wouldn't inflict upon an animal. I can only pray that this will weigh on your conscience."

The Knight-Commander's eyes narrowed. "I do what I can for the mages, Apprentice. But mages are dangerous. Your history shows why the Templars are necessary."

Elina's hands curled into fists at her sides. Jowan, who'd been all but forgotten since Elina had walked into the Knight-Commander's office, felt a flash of guilt from her. Elina never spoke of her time in Kirkwall, leaving Jowan to wonder what it was she was so remorseful of.

Elina's guilt faded quickly into anger, her eyes burning. She wouldn't cry, though. She'd told herself she wouldn't today. She'd lost this fight, though, and she forced herself to curtsy before she rushed out of the room.

Jowan followed Elina, closing the door quietly behind them as Elina pressed her forehead against the cool stone wall. "Elina," Jowan called her name gently. "You did the best you could. Those awful Templars will be out of solitary and watched. They won't hurt you or Anders again."

Elina knew quite the opposite was true. Michael was going to be waiting for her now. Dread crept over her, wrapping invisible fingers around her throat. "No, Jowan. I don't think I managed to do anything at all." Elina whispered, resigned. She straightened, and with darkened eyes shook her head slowly. "I was foolish to think I could change anything."

She began walking down the tower steps, moving about her daily routine in a haze. Jowan had to leave her to go, very late, to his lessons with Enchanter Orianna.

Every sound made Elina jump as she ate and washed up, changing into clean robes before going to the library to study. A footstep was Michael advancing on her. An apprentice whispering to another was Michael muttering threats.

Even when Jowan met with her for a meal at midday, Elina wasn't at ease. She didn't relax until she pushed open the door to the study where Senior Enchanter Wynne held her lessons.

Wynne was sitting on the floor flipping through a book. She looked up as Elina closed the door behind her. "Elina, how are you feeling?" Wynne asked gently.

Most apprentices thought Wynne was just a preachy old woman, but Wynne's students knew the mage had a sharp wit and plenty of much needed patience.

"Much better, thanks to you," Elina answered. She felt safe now, and the lump that had been in the back of her throat all day start to lessen. She sat down across from Wynne rather ungracefully, her long legs never folding neatly.

"Your emotions are all jumbled right now," Wynne pointed out as she closed her book and set it down next to her. "Has it been hard to control your feelings lately?"

Elina nodded. "Just since yesterday. It started when I was worrying about Anders. Wynne, I was more furious than I've been in a long time, and I was able to control myself." Elina told the woman, a tentative hope in her eyes. "Do you think that I'm learning to not mix my magic with my emotions?"

Wynne smiled at the girl. "You're definitely making progress." Wynne, along with the First Enchanter and Knight-Commander, were the only ones in the Circle Tower who knew of Elina's past. Wynne had been working with Elina since she came to the Circle.

"Wynne?" Elina asked in a small voice.

"Yes?"

Elina looked at her hands, which she'd folded in her lap. "I've always understood why the Templars are necessary. With what I've done… when my magic… whenI_ killed_ six children, I knew that I was dangerous. I've always felt relieved knowing that the Templars are there to strike me down if I ever do something like that again." Elina shuddered, reliving the moment that the lightning lashed out around her.

"It was not something you had control over, Elina," Wynne told her firmly, but not unsympathetically. Elina had refused to ever learn magic other than healing. She'd never uttered an offensive spell. "It is a scar that will never heal. But no amount of guilt is going to bring those children back to life. You must accept that it happened and learn from it. But do not carry it as a burden."

"Here I am trying to stop the Templars from abusing mages in solitary, and the Knight-Commander keeps reminding me that mages are dangerous. That _I'm _dangerous. I'm a murderer, Wynne." Elina bit her lip to keep herself from crying.

"Don't you dare think like that," Wynne said sharply. Elina looked at her, eyes swimming with tears that she refused to let free. "Elina, it is not _you _that is dangerous. When you were a child, your magic was unchecked. You had so much of it, but had never learned how to use it. You are not defined by your magic, though it has defined your life since a young age. I remember you telling Anders once in this very room 'underneath our magic, and underneath their Templar training, we're just people.' Do you remember?" Wynne asked, and Elina nodded.

"Well, then," Wynne continued, "I'll let you in on a secret of mine I discovered years ago, that I was reminded of when you spoke to Anders. Magic doesn't make mages dangerous. Templar training doesn't make those men dangerous. It's something else."

"Power," Elina said softly.

Wynne smiled proudly at the apprentice. She was, in many ways, wise for her young age. "Exactly."

Elina exhaled slowly. "The Templars in solitary have unchecked power over the mages. How they choose to use that power is what makes them dangerous. Just as how mages always have power, and must learn to control it so they won't hurt anyone. Just as my magic gave me power that I couldn't control," Elina explained, more to herself than to Wynne, since she was sure Wynne had already thought this through.

Wynne waited for several moments in silence until she felt the girl wrestle her emotions together. Then she said lightly, "I do believe that we've talked away most of your instructional time now. Unless you want to hear me lecture some more on morals, I suggest you ask me to begin the lesson now."

Elina gave her instructor a small smile. "Can we please begin the lesson now?"

After Elina left the study, she felt like she almost wanted to go speak to Greagoir again. He'd left her with such harsh words, and she'd had no response. Now, she did. Mages and Templars both had the power to do terrible things. But that was a choice. And Greagoir, the most powerful Templar in the Circle Tower, could make things right.

Elina, her defenses down for the first time that day, took little notice of the footsteps behind her. Wynne had a way of making her feel calm. She wasn't going to give up. She would speak to the Knight-Commander again.

The footsteps grew closer. Suddenly there was an armored hand that grasped her arm and spun her around.

"I thought we had an agreement," Michael hissed into her ear. Elina immediately tried to pull away, a scream rising in her throat. "Make one sound, and I swear on Andraste I will smite you down and then go find your lover in solitary." His voice was a low growl, his other hand now over her mouth as he yanked her roughly to the shadowy recesses of the hall. "While you may not stay true to your word, I do."


	4. Chapter 4- Games

_Solitary- Games_

Anders's eyes roved beneath his lids, unaware that he should be thankful he was still alive to be breathing and dreaming at all. But his dreams weren't the usual sort that he had in solitary. No nightmares this time. Instead, he was remembering.

_The main library was quiet; the younger apprentices who'd been practicing earlier had left almost an hour ago. Jowan and Elina both had their noses buried in books, but Anders was resting his chin on his hand, elbow propped up on the table._

_ Elina sighed loudly as she turned a page, and Anders sighed with even more gusto in response before burying his head in his folded arms. He didn't look up, but he could sense that Jowan was giving him a particularly annoyed glare. _

_ The three sat like that for a few more minutes, until Anders could almost feel his ears perk up. He lifted his head and saw Elina's eyes meet his own with excitement brimming in them. _

_ Immediately, he and Elina were on their feet. "Come on, Jowan!" Elina closed her book quickly and set it down on the table._

_ "What? Why?" Jowan frowned at her, and Anders gave a dramatic eye roll._

_ "Can't you hear it? It's raining," Elina grinned at him. "Let's go!"_

_ Jowan shook his head. "I want to finish this before curfew."_

"_No fun," Anders said, but he grabbed Elina's hand and the two of them half-ran out of the library and up the stairs to the top floor. This was Anders's favorite time- when it rained. They were always trapped inside the tower, and the scarcity of windows made it difficult for them to see any of the weather. Elina's favorite spot, which had become Anders's as well, was under one of the rare windows. _

_ They reached it now, and Anders pushed the window open as it protested with a loud creaking noise. The smell of rain floated into the tower. The two of them squished together, sticking their hands out of the window. The rain was cool on Anders's fingertips. _

_ "I missed this," Elina said quietly. _

_ Anders nodded contentedly. He smiled to himself when he saw Elina's face. Her eyes were closed, lips pulling up in the corners, the usual lines of worry and stress all but erased. _

_ "It should be snowing soon, right?" Elina's eyes opened, revealing the color of the sea. _

_ "In a month, maybe." Anders answered her. He couldn't break his gaze away from her face. Her hair, as usual, was messy, with loose waves falling over her shoulders, pieces sticking out in odd directions. Her mouth was only slightly open, stubborn chin looking softer in this light. She didn't look that different. But somehow, Anders felt odd in the moment. _

_ Elina slowly retracted her hand from the window, water dripping from her fingers as she let her arm fall by her side. "We'll have to watch for the snow, since we won't be able to hear anything. But I don't want to miss it." She turned to face the window, her shoulder against Anders's chest. They were always close like this, and Elina and Anders were this close with Jowan as well. But something was different._

_ Elina tilted her head a little to the side as she watched the rainfall under darkening skies, but Anders realized he was only watching her. _

When Anders opened his eyes, he wondered if he was dead. He took in a sharp breath, feeling a stab at his chest. No, definitely still alive. It took him a moment to remember where he was. Solitary. How could he forget?

He sat up in the darkness with a groan. He was in better shape, that much he could tell, but he still was rather… unwell. His muscles were sore, probably still bruised. He remembered waking for a few moments and seeing two silhouettes. How long ago had that been? Anders held his head in his hands.

How many days had he locked in solitary now? When was it that Elina had come to see him? Was she safe? What had happened to her?

She'd been hit to many times. Kicked. Michael had put his hands in her hair, on her face. Damn him. Damn him and all the Templars. Anders gritted his teeth as his breathing picked up, his ribs protesting.

The cell door squealed open, jarring Anders from his thoughts. The light made him squint.

"Dinner, mage." A low, rumbling voice said. It was one that Anders didn't recognize.

"So they decided to switch out my torturer, did they?" Anders asked as a bowl was set down in front of him. His eyes gradually adjusted to the light.

The Templar didn't close the door immediately. "The Knight-Commander had to switch the guards out, yes. The girl who came to visit you yesterday told him some story about Michael."

Anders straightened up, ignoring the pain that accompanied the movement. "Elina told Greagoir about him? And Michael was removed?"

"Not removed. Just reassigned to guard the main tower instead of solitary." The guard gave a short laugh. "I heard you two were… involved."

Anders glared with undisguised hatred at his guard. "Michael's in the main tower?" No, no. No, he would be after Elina.

The guard nodded. Anders felt his heart skip a beat. Elina was in danger. Anders couldn't see the Templar's expression since the light was to the man's back, but he was sure it would be one of equal contempt to match Anders's own. The guard sighed, "I almost feel sorry for the you and the girl. But it was foolish of you to try to love in the Circle. It's just a game now for Michael to play."

"What is he planning?" Anders asked, his voice steely.

"Not my place to say anything," the guard swung the door shut.

"Wait!" Anders shouted, clambering to his feet and immediately tripping and landing on all fours in front of the cell door. "You have to let me out! Elina will be in danger! I have to help her!"

There was no answer.

As Anders feared, Elina was face to face with Michael.

The Templar's grip around her wrist was painful, but she kept her mouth clamped shut. She didn't doubt that Michael would kill Anders if she screamed.

"Good. Stay quiet." Michael hissed to her. "Come with me."

Elina dug her heels into the stone floor of the tower, but Michael easily pulled her off balance and into the back hall.

There was a clank of armor close to them, and Elina yanked hard, trying to get out of Michael's hold. The passerby was the Templar who'd led Elina down into solitary the day before—Cullen.

"Oh!" Cullen gasped in surprise as he saw them, eyes taking in the scene quickly. Elina was throwing almost all her weight away from Michael, whose massive hand encircled her wrist. "Uh, er. Michael." Cullen greeted them nervously.

"Walk away, Cullen." Michael said in a dangerously low voice.

Elina lips were trembling as she whispered, "Help." She couldn't say more as Michael yanked again and she stumbled into him.

She risked one more look at Cullen, who was already walking away. She felt tears prick at her eyes. She was stupid, so stupid. Templars couldn't be trusted. Even the innocent seeming new recruit wouldn't give a damn if she were dead or alive.

Michael threw her into a dimly lit study. It was one that she came to regularly, because of how empty it tended to be, and how secluded it was. Even if she wanted to scream now, no one would hear her.

Michael slammed the door shut behind them. Elina's throat closed in fear as she began to walk backwards, further into the room, not wanting to look away from Michael.

"Do you have anything to say for yourself, mage?" Michael asked as he turned away from the door to stare her down.

"Don't do this," Elina said in a shaking voice. "You can let me walk away. You don't have to do anything. You don't have to keep hurting people."

Michael advanced on her, his steps the only sound in the room other than Elina's ragged breathing. "I'm not hurting 'people'. I'm helping mages understand their place," his eyes were dark as he closed the gap between them. Elina had backed into the far wall and had nowhere else to go as Michael grabbed her neck and held her against the stone.

"Michael," Elina tried to say as his hand tightened around her throat.

"Don't say my name!" He roared, slamming her head against the wall, releasing his grip. "Worthless mage, you should be begging for your life!"

Elina struggled to stay on her feet, trembling as she gasped for air, head spinning. "Please," she gasped. She took a few steps to her right, towards a bookshelf.

"Please what?" Michael followed her, but she'd already grabbed a massive text from a shelf and threw it at him. Her strength wasn't enough, and the book hit Michael's armored chest before falling uselessly to the floor. She staggered away, but he caught her by the arm.

"Please stop." Elina writhed and squirmed. The sleeve of her robes tore as Michael refused to let go, and Elina fell to the floor as the fabric came off in Michael's grasp. He threw the shreds carelessly as Elina scrambled to her feet.

"Why should I?" Michael hissed. He grabbed both of her shoulders and pushed her into the corner.

Elina felt herself gagging as his face leered in to her own. She wanted to scream. She really, really wanted to scream, but she swallowed it down. "Because you have the power to let me go." Elina whispered, cringing in pain as Michael's steel fingers crushed her shoulders.

Michael shook her, face contorted with rage. "I have the power to teach you a lesson! You're all the same. Dangerous, prideful, murderers waiting for the moment to strike. And you'll always be that way unless you're broken."

"No," Elina wasn't aware that she was shaking her head violently as she spoke. "No, we're not. We don't have to be broken. We're not like that."

"Monsters," Michael hissed to her, "need to be tamed."

Elina felt hot tears begin to roll down her cheeks. "No. No, please."

Michael moved one hand to her hair and yanked her head back, exposing her throat. Elina's feelings were crackling around her, she could sense it. The air was thicker. Hands shaking, she knew what she could do. She could kill him. She could kill him now. She should. She would.

_Monster._

_No! _

His other hand released her shoulder now, moving to the tie on her robes.

_Kill him, kill him, kill him. _Every part of her wanted to. She just had to release her magic that she'd worked so hard to control. Lightning would lash out. He would scream. He would die. She would be safe.

But she wasn't a murderer.

Elina swung her fist up as hard as she could and caught Michael's nose. She heard a crunching sound and he released her in surprise.

She ran for the door, but Michael caught her by the back of her robe. "You bitch!" He shouted at her. His nose was bleeding, leaving red streaks over his mouth.

"I don't want to hurt you!" She cried as he pulled her back, where they now stood in the middle of the room. "I can hurt you, like you've hurt me. Like you've hurt Anders." Her breaths were in short bursts and Michael struck her across the face.

She would've fallen, but his other hand on her arm kept her up. "Getting angry, mage? Are you going to use your powers to kill me?" Michael growled, hitting her again.

She couldn't feel his blows, only struggling to stop the magic concentrating in the air around her, threatening to explode at any moment. She could hear the children screaming, blood pounding in her ears. She could kill again. "Stop," she gasped as Michael threw her against the desk in the middle of the room, where she slid to the floor.

"I thought you were going to kill me." Michael's foot caught her in the stomach and Elina began coughing, finally tasting blood in her mouth from Michael's punches.

Elina squeezed her eyes shut. The air was crackling, but Michael didn't even notice. He was too focused on the abomination before him. This apprentice who didn't know her place- who would go on to kill and ravage if she wasn't taken care of.

"Stop struggling," Michael spat at her as he advanced to where she was doubled over on the ground. Her hair fell over her face, her shoulders rising and falling rapidly, her breathing the only sound in the room. "Are you going to let me teach you your place now?" Michael's voice was low as he towered over her.

Elina could only try to keep the crackling magic in check. Breathe. Wynne always told her to breathe to calm herself. Breathe. Breathe. Michael's steely palm now cupped her cheek, but she refused to open her eyes. She wouldn't kill again. She wasn't a monster. She wasn't a murderer. And because of that, she would fight back.

Michael's grip on her face tightened, and Elina's eyes flew open. Michael felt a sick sense of disgust and shock looking into the mage's glowing green eyes. He opened his mouth, but before he could respond, Elina grabbed Michael's hands, pushing them away from her face. He could now feel something was off in the air around him. The hair on his arms stood up and he felt a twinge of fear.

Elina's hands were shaking beyond control as she gathered the magic around her. "_**I do not want to hurt you**__._" A much more powerful voice than her own said, but it came from her mouth. Her palms tingled with magic, glowing bright white and laced with purple. "_**You will stand down and let me leave**__." _Her hands burned, her magic straining against her. No. She would control it. She wasn't going to kill anyone.

Michael seemed to realize she was using magic and jumped to his feet, sucking in a sharp breath, gathering his powers to smite Elina down.

"_**Don't try**_." The voice ordered as Elina stood. The power in her was unbelievable. It hurt, burning. She could do anything. She felt her eyes grow wide as she struggled for only a few seconds before feeling Michael gather his own Templar powers.

She sent her magic out to the bookshelf behind Michael in one, clean bolt. The bookcase toppled over almost immediately, and Michael didn't react in time. It struck him over the head, but caught at an angle on the desk as Michael fell to the floor, books falling from the shelves and onto his crumpled form.

The door to the study swung open at this moment, and Elina dropped to her knees, feeling the magic leave her, the air breathable again. Her vision was blurry, slipping in and out of focus.

"Get Michael!" It was the Knight-Commander who spoke. Elina tried to look at him, making out three figures in the room. She blinked a few times and the scene came into focus.

The Knight-Commander stood in the doorway while one of the Templars, a man Elina knew as Thomas, hurried to heave the bookcase up into its original position and bent down next to Michael, who groaned.

"He's alive," Thomas called. Elina sighed in tired relief. She hadn't killed him. She'd used her powers and she hadn't killed him.

The other Templar was Cullen, and the boy ran over to kneel next to Elina. "A-Are you alright? I- I was worried we wouldn't come here in time." He stuttered nervously.

Elina convulsed and her body heaved as she tried to throw up the contents of an empty stomach. Cullen stared at her, unsure of what to do.

It was the Knight-Commander who appeared at her side, putting a hand on her shoulder. He waited until she'd finished retching. "Cullen said that he saw Michael pulling you away."

Elina could only nod, wrapping her arms around herself protectively. She didn't realize that she was still crying until Cullen tentatively offered a handkerchief. Elina took it gratefully, wiping her eyes and then mouth.

Knight-Commander Greagoir watched her, taking in her bare arm where her sleeve had been ripped away and her bloody mouth and swelling eye. "You're safe," Greagoir mumbled, more to himself than to the trembling mage in front of him. He'd only managed to say a brief prayer of thanks to the Maker when he'd entered the room and seen her, fully clothed and standing a fair distance away from Michael. If something had happened to her, it would have been to his own incompetence as a leader.

Elina could barely process Greagoir's words. She would be safe. Anders would be safe- she would make sure of it. She looked at Cullen, still kneeling in front of her, at eye-level. "Thank you, Cullen." She whispered. "I-" she broke off to dry heave again. She would've been embarrassed in any other situation, but she found at the moment dignity wasn't really on her mind. "Knight-Commander," Elina choked out. "I'd like to ask you to reevaluate solitary again."

The Knight-Commander felt himself crack a smile in spite of the conditions at the moment. Elina was an unusual apprentice, and even more unusual young woman. But he felt his smile fade as he sighed, watching the girl shake, her tear-stained face looking at him with no small amount of fear, but also a fierce determination. Greagoir knew she wasn't going to back down. Not ever.


	5. Chapter 5- Making Monsters

_Solitary- Making Monsters_

Cullen stood at attention across from the Knight-Commander, swallowing uncomfortably as his eyes flicked to Apprentice Elina. The mage had her arms wrapped around her waist, though she didn't seem to be shaking as much as she was before. The First Enchanter was standing behind Elina, his hand on her shoulder.

"And you didn't use your magic directly on him?" The Knight-Commander's voice was stern as he asked Elina. The man and mage sat across from each other, Greagoir's forehead rested in his hands.

"No," Elina answered in a quiet voice. She didn't feel nauseous anymore. Now, she only wanted to crawl under the covers of her bed and sleep away the memory of Michael. A small part of her still hoped that Michael was nothing more than a bad dream. "I used my magic to jolt the bookshelf, though."

Greagoir heaved a sigh as he rubbed his eyes. "That still counts as using magic to attack a Templar. But in this case it was self-defense, with Cullen as a witness."

Cullen nodded rapidly, and Elina tried to smile at the Templar, but felt that she was only managing a grimace. She wanted to leave, get away from the Knight-Commander and stop answering questions. There was a knock at the door, and an older Templar stepped inside. "Michael's regained himself, Knight-Commander," the man barked. "Do you still want to speak to him?"

"Yes, please bring him in." The Knight-Commander answered tiredly.

Elina felt her heart skip a beat, and her mind went blank. "Knight-Commander," she began, her tongue suddenly seeming heavy and dry.

"No harm will come to you," Greagoir met her eyes. "But if I intend to banish Michael from the order, I need it to be done so where I have his account against yours. Understand?"

Elina drew her arms closer around herself and managed to nod as the Templar in the doorway gestured out in the hallway. Elina couldn't control her reaction as she began to shiver, her ripped open sleeve revealing goosebumps.

The First Enchanter tightened his grip on Elina's shoulder protectively.

Michael came through the doorway swaying, held up on one side by another Templar. His eyes were unfocused, and he slurred, "That's her," he raised his hand to point at Elina. "That's the bitch who tried to kill me, you see?"

Elina's fingers curled into her palm, nails digging into her skin. Her breath caught as she looked at Greagoir, almost fearing that he was going to let Michael stagger at her. Instead, the Knight-Commander snapped, "You'll answer when spoken to, Michael. You're currently undergoing questioning to determine whether or not you are fit to be in the Order of the Templars."

Greagoir saw tremors running through Elina's body and stepped in front of her, blocking her from Michael's view. "Michael, I have a witness that says you were dragging Apprentice Elina away forcibly earlier tonight. Is that correct?"

Michael sneered, shoving off the man who was supporting him. "Yes, that's correct, Knight-Commander."

"That should be proof enough for you, Greagoir," The First Enchanter said gravely.

Greagoir was momentarily taken back. He had expected Michael to deny the claim. But there was something different gleaming in Michael's eyes that made Greagoir more than concerned. "Then what do you have to say for yourself?" Greagoir asked the young Templar coldly.

"That the mage tried to kill me!" Michael roared, stumbling slightly as he tried to get closer to the Knight-Commander and Elina. "Her voice went low, and she started glowing. She's an abomination—I was only doing my duty as a Templar."

Greagoir frowned at Michael, then glanced back at Elina. The apprentice looked like she was about to be sick again, her eyes squeezed shut and her lips white. "She says she used magic in self-defense. You tried to attack her."

"I tried to teach her a lesson," Michael shouted, his face contorting. Greagoir signaled for Cullen and the other Templars in the room to restrain Michael. "She's a monster, I tell you! I was right about her! I tried to teach her a lesson and she almost killed me," Michael struggled against the Templars as they tried to keep him from lunging at Elina.

"Do you admit to attacking Apprentice Elina while she was defenseless?" Greagoir raised his voice over Michael's grunts and protests.

Michael suddenly stopped moving, his eyes traveling past the Knight-Commander to find Elina. "No." Michael's voice was barely above a whisper. "She wasn't defenseless."

The Knight-Commander felt uneasiness creep over him as Michael continued, "Mages never are, you see. They're always just waiting. That one should be put down," Michael jerked his chin at Elina. "She's a monster. She attacked me, she'll attack you. She'll kill you all one day if you let her live, I swear it."

Elina felt tears escape, rolling down her cheeks as she opened her eyes. The Knight-Commander had turned back to look at her, an unreadable expression on his face. The First Enchanter's comforting hand on her shoulder was the only thing keeping her from running out of the room. Elina pressed a hand to her mouth as her empty stomach rolled. _Monster. _

"You should've heard her voice, Knight-Commander," Michael hissed. "You can banish me from the Templars for attacking her, for wanting to show her the proper place of mages, but you'll regret letting her live."

Elina could only shake her head. The Knight-Commander hadn't looked away from her face. "I… I'm not what he says." Elina croaked, her hand falling back to her lap. She stood shakily to meet the Knight-Commander straight on. She'd fought against her desire to kill Michael. She'd overcome it. She'd controlled herself. She was no monster. "Power," she managed to say, "is what is dangerous. It's what makes people monsters." She forced herself to look at Michael, his face sending tremors of fear through her body. "You had power over me," she told him, rasping. "You… you…" _Hit, shoved, groped, threatened. _

"Elina," the First Enchanter's voice was low. "Michael has already admitted his guilt. You needn't worry about whatever he tries to say against you."

Elina nodded, choking back a sob as the Knight-Commander said to Irving, "Agreed," and turned back to Michael and the other Templars. "Michael, you are henceforth banished from the Templars." Michael gave a wordless roar of anger as he strained against the men holding him back. "No Circle will accept you, and you will find no friends among the Order. I will be writing to the chantry of your crimes. You will be escorted to get your things and then out of the tower. Jayden and Seth, you go with him."

"I've warned you," Michael began writhing again as the Templars dragged him to the door. "They're all dangerous, Knight-Commander! That apprentice beside you… that _thing,_ will only bring destruction!" Michael shouted, but Cullen closed the door behind them. Michael's screams faded, and Elina stood, eyes fixed on the floor, face wet.

Cullen looked at the apprentice worriedly, unsure of what he could possibly do or say that would improve the situation.

Greagoir felt he was in a haze as he moved back to his desk. "Elina, you should be safe now. Find Wynne, or rest. I will have to send news to the chantry, but be assured now Michael will not find his way to you again." Greagoir watched as Elina wiped her eyes before raising her head.

"Knight-Commander, about Anders," Elina's voice crackled as she spoke.

"Tomorrow, Apprentice," Greagoir answered, and would've laughed or been frustrated with her dogged persistence if the girl hadn't just gone through potentially the worst day of her life.

Elina nodded and took heavy steps out of the Knight-Commander's office. First Enchanter Irving waited until the door closed behind her before rounding on Greagoir. "This was too much, Greagoir," Irving growled.

Greagoir buried his face in his hands. While he and the First Enchanter never truly got along, the First Enchanter rarely spoke in harsh tones to the Knight-Commander. "I know, Irving."

The First Enchanter couldn't keep a scowl from his face as he left Greagoir's office as well. Cullen fidgeted in the tense feeling left behind.

"You're dismissed, Cullen," Greagoir said, but the young Templar didn't move, only shifting his weight from foot to foot uncomfortably. "What is it?" Greagoir asked, running his hand over his chin.

"Knight-Commander, w- what Michael said… it's not true is it?" Cullen asked tentatively. "Apprentice Elina doesn't seem at all dangerous."

Greagoir sighed, feeling tired rather than impatient. "Many of the things Michael said were perfectly reasonable. Mages _are_ capable of terrible destruction. All people with magic have that potential, which is why there are Templars to watch them. But not all mages will abuse their powers." Greagoir finished, and his final word brought back Elina's broken voice. _Power is what makes people dangerous. You had power over me._

Cullen noted that Greagoir seemed to be thinking of something else now and bowed his head before leaving the Knight-Commander to his thoughts.

Greagoir sat in silence, disturbed by Michael's words and the intensity of his hate. He'd known Michael for years. The young Templar had always excelled in his studies, and had resented the mages because of their dangerous nature. But to see the boy Greagoir had first met in the Circle transform into the young man whose eyes were bright with hate was something that made Greagoir's blood run cold.

Jowan was waiting nervously outside the apprentice quarters. It was past curfew, but Jowan had been looking for Elina all through the evening until on the Templars dragged him back to the apprentice quarters with a harsh warning.

He heard footsteps down the hall and narrowed his eyes in the dim torchlight to see Elina walking sluggishly toward him.

"Maker's breath," Jowan breathed when he saw her. "I was so worried, El." She was again bleeding, and Jowan cringed as he took in her torn sleeve. He was in front of her in two steps and Elina buried her face in his shoulder, shuddering as she gave a strangled sob.

Jowan quickly put his arms around her, holding her closer to him. He didn't want to ask anything, though he had many questions. They could wait. For now, Elina was safe. Jowan noticed that though she was crying, he couldn't feel her magic as he usually did. There was a barely noticeable tug in the air around them, one that made Jowan feel something that made his chest contract. It was nothing like Elina's usual waves of emotion. Another question for another time.

He waited until Elina's sobs had been reduced to sniffling. "I'm sorry," Elina hiccupped, talking into Jowan's shoulder.

"Sorry for what?" Jowan found himself as bewildered as always with Elina's apologies.

"For making you worry." Elina's voice was small.

"You don't need to apologize," Jowan told her as he stepped back, letting his arms fall away.

Elina sniffed and gestured to the half-open door to the apprentice quarters. "We should get inside before we're caught in the hallway." She was back to her rule-following ways, Jowan noted internally with a hint of humor in spite of the bleak situation.

Jowan nodded and they slid inside. His eyes needed a moment to adjust to the darkness, but he and Elina walked back through the beds carefully before finding Elina's in the corner. "Did you get into trouble with the Knight-Commander?" Jowan asked quietly as they sat down.

"Not exactly," Elina rubbed the bridge of her nose. "The Knight-Commander kicked out one of the Templars who had been abusing mages down in solitary."

Her reply wasn't at all what Jowan had been expecting. "Really?" He whispered.

"Yes."

Jowan waited in silence for a moment. "Elina, I saw you in the hall light. You… you were beaten again, weren't you?"

"By the man who Greagoir banished. Michael." Elina answered softly. Her voice was weary, and Jowan eased himself off of her bed. It was the same Templar who'd nearly killed Elina in solitary. The same Templar who had made her panic and shake with fear.

"He's really gone?" Jowan asked, pulling Elina's blanket over her.

"He won't hurt any mages ever again." Elina whispered.

Elina rolled over, and heard Jowan's footsteps as he left for his own bed before Elina pulled her blanket closer around her, willing away the feeling of Michael's hand still on her wrist. His voice, accusing her, predicting that her path would be one of destruction.

Whatever power Elina had, the power that she'd been afraid of her whole life, she'd been able to control. The thought scared her even more now; knowing that she could manipulate powers that could lead her to be what Michael claimed she already was. She shivered underneath the warmth of her blanket, and focused instead on what was important at the moment—Anders. Exhaustion washed over her in a wave.

Jowan didn't fall asleep as quickly. He lay on his back, eyes open in the dark. He felt completely useless. He'd done nothing while the Templars kicked around Elina and Anders. Andraste, he'd just been waiting for Elina outside of the apprentice quarters while Elina had been attacked somewhere in the tower. _"I'll stop him,"_ Jowan had told her, _"I'm not going to let anyone touch you."_ Yet he hadn't been able to stay true to his word.

Jowan rolled over on his side. He'd always been the weak one, tagging along with Elina and Anders. He'd had his nose buried in books while the two of them had been learning to heal, how to help people. It was his mother's voice that came back to him now. _"Useless, pathetic, brat. You can't do anything right." _She'd often slurred to him in her frequent drunken stupors.

Jowan's own powers had never been very strong. He frequently fell behind in assessments, despite his constant studying. He didn't want to be weak anymore. He knew where he could turn—he'd thought of it before. As Enchanter Orianna had chastised him after his last assessment earlier in the year, he'd been practicing alone in a study at the top of the tower.

_Jowan laced the magic through his fingertips, holding his breath as he tried to keep the static from fizzling out. His head swam, and he inhaled, only to have the magic dissipate. Jowan had to hold himself up against the wall to keep from falling, his vision blurring. Enchanter Orianna had lectured him just hours ago about not using more magic than he could handle, but what was he supposed to do when he couldn't handle anything at all?_

_ "Still working on the basics?" A familiar nasally voice made Jowan turn to see Enchanter Uldred watching him with a thin smile on his face as he leaned against a bookcase. _

_ Jowan hadn't heard the Enchanter come in, and wasn't pleased that Uldred had seen him struggling with such a simple form of magic. "Enchanter Uldred," Jowan nodded to the bald man, feeling humiliated._

_ "I understand that Orianna had to fail you again." Enchanter Uldred straightened and began pacing through the study, and Jowan frowned deeply. How had the news gotten around so quickly? Soon Elina and Anders would know. Anders would tease him, and Elina would offer to help him practice in a sympathetic voice. Then he would fail the next assessment again. "Some mages are not made for the type of magic taught in the Circle, Jowan," Uldred continued, still pacing, stopping occasionally to read the title off of the spine of a book. "The other apprentices you follow around—they're much more suited for the magic that the Circle teaches here. But you're not like them, are you?"_

_ Jowan hung his head, the Enchanter's words piercing what was left of Jowan's pride. "If you'll excuse me, Enchanter Uldred-"_

_ "There are other forms of magic," Uldred turned suddenly to face Jowan, his eyes glittering. "Keep that in mind. Some mages can become stronger than ever before if they turn to… more unconventional methods." _

_ Jowan raised his chin slowly, noting the intimidating look in Uldred's eyes. He wasn't sure what the Enchanter was referring to. "Unconventional…" Jowan ran a hand through his hair as his eyebrows pulled together in thought. Uldred's lips pulled up in the corners and Jowan was hit with the sudden realization of what Uldred was implying. "You don't mean… the forbidden magic, do you?"_

_ Uldred laughed, the sound thin, echoing in the study. "I didn't say anything in particular, did I? It's something to think on, Jowan, isn't it?"_

_ Blood magic? Jowan knew there was a reason it was forbidden. _

_ Uldred patted Jowan's arm before he left. "You can spend the rest of your days in this tower as a weak child, following around others who are stronger than you. Or, you can find your own way to become a better mage, and a stronger man." The Enchanter's voice was patronizing as he left Jowan standing alone in the room._

Now lying awake, Jowan rolled over again, the conversation replaying in his mind. At the time, he'd been too scared to try anything. Uldred's words had been shoved into the back of his mind, surfacing when Jowan was faced with a particularly frustrating day of lessons. But he'd always pushed the thoughts away. But he knew he'd been completely useless to Elina and Anders—to his friends. What they had faced, he had no idea. He was too weak to even truly want to know.

Jowan fell into a restless sleep, bits and pieces of memories floating through his mind. _"He's our friend Jowan… I don't expect you to come with me, so I don't know why I'm even continuing this conversation." _Elina, furious, storming off to help Anders.

"_Useless, pathetic, brat. You can't do anything right." _His mother, slapping him across the face.

"_You can spend the rest of your days in this tower as a weak child, following around others who are stronger than you. Or, you can find your own way to become a better mage, and a stronger man." _Blood magic.

Yes, he wanted to be stronger. He wanted to be a better mage.


	6. Chapter 6- Broken

_Solitary- Broken_

_ Anders looked again at Elina, who was lying on her stomach, elbows on the floor and chin propped in her hands. The book in front of her neglected—she hadn't turned its pages in several minutes, and her eyelids were fluttering. Jowan was leaning against the wall, fully focused on his own text. _

_ The sunny spot the three had occupied was under their favorite window, the summer breeze whispering into the tower. Anders forced his eyes away from Elina and tried to go back to sleep, resting his head on his knees. A gust of wind blew through the window, and Anders couldn't help smiling at Elina as she blinked and rubbed her nose. _

_ "How's that book coming along, Elina?" Anders asked cheekily, and Elina yawned. _

_ "Better than yours is, I think," Elina answered in good humor. "Come on, Anders. We're supposed to have our studies done before tomorrow and you haven't even started."_

_ Jowan didn't even look up from the page he was reading as he said, "He'll be up all night even if he starts now."_

_ Anders rolled his eyes dramatically. "You're acting like I'd read all of it even if I had years to do so."_

_ Elina laughed, and Anders basked in the sunshine that radiated from Elina herself. "Anders, you might want to at least try to start on it. I think it's pretty interesting."_

_ "I could tell by the way you were nodding off that it was truly fascinating," Anders leaned forward to flick her on the forehead and she wrinkled her nose at him. _

_ "I wonder if the Enchanters intentionally pick books that are the most tedious to read," Jowan muttered as he turned another page. _

_ Anders craned his neck to see the title of Jowan's book. "Yours sounds exciting. 'The Nature of Nature: A History of Rocks'. I'm sure its characters are riveting, and the action is good and gory."_

_ "It's supposed to be about Primal Magic. You know, like chucking rocks around." Jowan grimaced. "Unfortunately all I've read about for the past hour is the different kinds of rocks in Ferelden. If you want to know about which rocks were used in Dalish rituals, I can tell you. However, if you ask me to use magic to levitate a pebble, I won't be able to."_

_ Elina made a sympathetic face while Anders snorted. "A book on rocks. I don't see why you're even bothering to read it in the first place." Anders rolled his shoulders back and extended his legs out in front of him._

_ Jowan shrugged. "It might help me when I actually try to use my magic." _

_ "I don't think books are going to really be a help with that." Anders answered, and he realized after he spoke his insensitivity. Elina shot him a warning glare as Jowan seemed to deflate a little bit. _

_ "Primal Magic seems so hard," Elina said quickly to Jowan. "I'm sure some of the literature on it is bound to make it more accessible." She smiled warmly at him, and Anders internally groaned to himself as Elina's words seemed to take some of the hurt out of Jowan's face. He knew Jowan was far from competent in magic, but Jowan was quite aware of it and didn't need to be reminded. _

_ Anders found himself wishing that he could be more tactful at times, especially around Jowan. Elina flopped over on her back, her face bathed in sunlight. Her blue eyes shined as she let out a content sigh._

_ Jowan returned to his book and Anders resumed watching Elina as she stared up into space with a soft expression. There were much prettier girls in the tower, Anders knew. Girls with pretty heart shaped faces and soft hair. He'd even kissed two pairs of light pink lips before. But somehow, the other apprentices paled in comparison to Elina. Full cheeks, a long nose, and messy hair. Cheeks that blushed red when she'd duck her head in embarrassment. A nose that she frequently rubbed when she was tired. Hair that shone golden in the sunlight. _

_Elina blinked slowly and looked at Anders, catching his gaze. Her lips pulled up in the corners and Anders felt like the sun was smiling at him. Beautiful. Elina._

James, the Templar who had been on duty through the night, opened the door to the cell at the end of the dark hall with dread. He brandished a torch, letting light fill the cramped cell where the apprentice was lying motionless. James tentatively took a step inside, only to confirm that the chest of the apprentice was still rising and falling.

The apprentice had tried to break out of his cell again. It had happened right after James had taken over the watch shift from one of the senior Templars, Walter. James had been warned that the apprentice was dangerous, and Walter mentioned that the prisoner had been hysterical, shouting to be released because his friend was in danger. James hadn't expected, however, that the apprentice would try to overpower him when dinner was brought in.

James only had enough time to call on Andraste and smite the apprentice down. If he hadn't—well, the apprentice might've overpowered him and gone on some crazed reaping through the circle.

But the apprentice was weak, and had fallen to the floor of the cell and not stirred since. James backed out of the cell slowly and closed the door. The Knight-Commander had become strict in the last few days about Templar treatment of the mages. If something happened to the apprentice, James could be punished.

The young Templar shook his head nervously to himself as he walked back down the hall. The decrepit ceiling unleashed a typical drop of water that landed on James's nose, and the man jumped, his breath catching. Was he guilty?

_No_, James assured himself. He'd done the right thing. He was sure the apprentice would be fine after a few more hours. If not, then Greagoir would understand. _After all, it would've been worse if the apprentice had escaped to wreak havoc in the tower._ James bit his lip, not convinced of his own words. A replacement would be coming soon to relieve James, and then it would no longer be his responsibility.

Anders, in the back of solitary, had his heart slow further, breathing raggedly into the darkness.

Elina woke before the other apprentices in the morning. At first, she was confused as to why her face ached and her left eye wouldn't open all the way. The dull pain was a quick reminder and Elina felt her mouth twist. _Anders. Still in solitary._

She dragged herself out of bed quietly, grabbing a fresh robe from her locked chest and then quickly washing up. She caught her reflection in the mirror as she headed back into the apprentice quarters, hair wet from its washing. Her eye was swollen, surrounded by purple. Another bruise stretched across her chin and her lip was puffed up to twice its normal size. She could honestly say she'd never looked worse in her life. She summoned her healing magic, watching as her eyes flashed green in the mirror. She gently touched the worst of her injuries, and though she wasn't powerful enough to make the marks disappear, they faded to a less vibrant shade of purple.

She noticed there was something different about her today, but she couldn't put her finger on what it was. Her eyes faded changed slowly back into blue, but the feeling of magic lingered.

Her lips pressed into a firm line as she tossed her robe back on her bed. Other apprentices were stirring now, stretching and muttering to each other. The last she'd heard of Anders had been when the First Enchanter had gone in the night before last to heal him. _Has it only been a full day, then? _Elina wondered to herself. It seemed so much longer.

"Elina!" Therese's voice made Elina spin around to see the elf climbing out of bed. "Jowan was so worried about you last night. Is everything alright?"

"Yes, everything is fine," Elina said gently, and upon the mention of Jowan, she looked toward her friend's bed. It was empty, and Elina scanned the room for him, only to find that he must've left earlier in the morning.

Therese's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "I don't believe you." Therese crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. Elina only sighed and shook her head. "You're impossible sometimes, you know that?" Therese complained as she threw on a fresh robe over her sleeping clothes, not bothering to fully change. "Let's get something to eat."

"I need to check in on Anders," Elina protested as Therese took her wrist. Elina flinched at the movement, but fortunately, Therese didn't notice.

The elf, instead, looked impatiently at Elina. "You've been doing crazy things over the last few days, El. Stop for just a moment for breakfast, will you? Anders has been in solitary before. Maybe this time he'll smarten up and not sass the Templars as much," Therese added the last statement under her breath.

"Just because he's been in solitary before doesn't mean that it gets easier for him," Elina said quietly.

Therese blinked at Elina, but in her typical brusque and careless manner, just told Elina, "Anders will be fine. Breakfast is happening now."

Elina let herself be pulled along by Therese. Therese rambled about her lessons through breakfast, unaware of the uneasy feeling that was creeping through Elina's mind.

Yes, Anders had been in solitary before. But Elina had seemed to start a chain of events that could have led to things being worse for him. She thought of Jowan, telling her she worried her too much before she went to confront the Knight-Commander. And when she'd gotten to Anders, he'd been beaten and… _Broken. _Elina's hands curled into fists and she pushed her chair out from the table where she and Therese were sitting. The word had come out of nowhere.

"Elina?" The elf asked.

"I have to go." Elina threw the response over her shoulder. There was something different in the air. Something very wrong.

She hurried through the tower. There was a part of her missing. She felt almost hollow.

"Send for Senior Enchanter Wynne!" Greagoir's voice was snapping down the hall. Elina rounded the corner to see Greagoir shouting at one of the Templar's, who immediately took off, brushing past her.

"Knight-Commander?" Elina called before Greagoir could move, and he turned to look at her. "What's wrong?" Elina asked immediately, her voice steady as she prepared herself for an unpleasant answer.

"You practice healing magic, yes?" Greagoir demanded as Elina drew closer, half jogging.

Elina nodded, her sense of dread growing. "Anders?" She whispered.

Greagoir nodded. They immediately set off together, Elina running to keep up with the Knight-Commander. "He tried to escape again, damn him. The Templar guarding him had to smite him to keep Anders from using his powers, but Anders was too weak to take it."

They were rushing down the stairs now, and Elina felt the air growing colder around her. A young Templar Elina knew as James was waiting for them at the bottom.

James gaped at them, his face terrified. "Knight-Commander, I swear it was an accident. He was trying to escape-"

"Out of my way," Greagoir snapped, and he and Elina pushed inside. Elina ran ahead of the Knight-Commander now, her mind completely blank as she raced down the dark hall.

"Anders," Elina managed to say as she knelt next to her friend. Anders was on his side, eyes closed and arms limp. _Broken. _

Greagoir appeared in the doorway with a torch. "Senior Enchanter Wynne is on her way," Greagoir said, watching the apprentices with an out-of-breath kind of fear he hadn't felt in years. An apprentice hadn't died within circle walls since his early years as Knight-Commander, and he didn't want it to happen again.

Elina ignored the Knight-Commander, placing green-laced hands on Anders's neck. She couldn't feel his life force. "No." Elina whispered. "No, no!"

"Where is that Enchanter?" Greagoir roared down the hall. When no answer came, he stormed away, knowing time was of the essence. But if the boy was already dead, then there was nothing that Wynne could do.

Elina didn't even notice that the Knight-Commander had left, light streaming from her hands as she cradled Anders's face. "No, Anders." She shook her head. "No, no. Please. Maker, please."

She shot her magic through his body. Everything she was exploded through her fingertips. Not Anders. No. "Wake up. Anders, wake up." Elina mumbled over and over again. "No. Anders. Wake up."

_"Wake up, Anders. We're going to be late!" Elina leaned over Anders, and gently poked him again._

_ He groaned and pulled the blanket over his head, his feet now exposed. Elina saw her opening and took it, attacking his feet with tickles. "Hey!" Anders shouted, thrashing wildly for a few moments before he sat up, giving Elina an indignant glare. "Dammit, Elina, I'm up, I'm up."_

_ Elina chortled happily at his expression. "I think I've found the most effective method of waking up a grumpy Anders."_

_ Anders grumbled unintelligibly under his breath as he swung his feet to the floor and rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Did I miss breakfast?"_

_ "Yes, you did. Again." Elina tried to frown at him but wasn't sure that she was being effective at all. She then broke into a grin as she pulled a bulky piece of cloth out of her bag and handed it to Anders. "Fortunately for you, I think everyone, no matter how grumpy, deserves cinnamon rolls."_

_ Anders unfolded the cloth and then looked back up at Elina. "You're forgiven for assaulting me."_

_ "Assaulting?" Elina cried indignantly. _

_ "You touched my feet!" Anders answered, but the ire was taken out of his voice as he took a large bite of the roll and his words became garbled._

_ "Oh, yes. I'm the fiercest apprentice in the tower." Elina scoffed. "Assaulting the other mages with_ tickles_." _

_ Anders chuckled into in his cinnamon roll as he shoved the rest of it into his mouth._

_ "Maker, Anders! You can it eat in more than two bites, you know." Elina chastised him as sternly as she could. _

_ "I had to get my hands free," Anders answered, swallowing down the rest of the roll. "For revenge," he said in a low voice, and lunged at Elina, dragging her onto the bed, tickling her mercilessly. _

_ She laughed, breathless, as she tried to say, "An- hey! S-stop!" She broke out into a fresh wave of giggles again._

_ Anders gave one last poke at her ribs before chortling, "Weren't we supposed to go somewhere?" _

"Don't go, Anders," Elina cupped his face in his hands, her own tears falling on his cheeks. The whole cell was filled with her magic, shining a brilliant green.

Greagoir, at the door to the cell unit, caught sight of Wynne hurrying down the steps. "Wynne, we don't have time. The boy is either dead or dying."

The older woman nodded as Greagoir led her down the hall, though both mage and Templar took in the strange green light that laced its way through the cells.

"Elina is here," Greagoir said shortly to Wynne as they reached Anders. Greagoir's eyes widened in shock before squinting in the brightness. Elina was glowing, nearly blinding him.

Wynne didn't seem at all phased, and quickly joined Elina on the floor, checking the apprentice's pulse as Greagoir watched, his free hand pressed to his forehead, his other holding the torch that didn't seem to be necessary anymore.

"Wynne." Elina sobbed. "Wynne, make him come back."

The Senior Enchanter shook his head and Greagoir felt the last bit of hope he had for the apprentice vanish. He'd failed again. The idiot apprentice had gotten himself killed, and Greagoir knew that it was his responsibility.

"Wynne, please," Elina pleaded hoarsely. "You have to heal him. Please, please." She cried harder than the day she'd become a murderer.

_Murderer. She hung her head, picking at her dinner. She'd been in the tower for four years now, and had only two friends—Therese and Jowan. Not many of the other apprentices wanted to stay around Elina for too long. She still couldn't control her magic, her feelings creeping around her and inflicting themselves on anyone standing too close. Elina didn't blame them. If they knew she was a murderer, they wouldn't want to be friends with her anyway. She sometimes forgot that, and was reminded again whenever she was alone. She was lucky that Therese didn't seem to even pick up on Elina's strangeness. And Jowan, for whatever reason, didn't mind. Now, Therese and Jowan were late for dinner. Elina ate by herself, as she usually did when her two friends weren't around. She sat quietly, poking at her soggy vegetables with a knife. _

_ Bo, one of the cats occasionally spotted around the tower, brushed up against her ankles. Elina smiled down at the tabby, reaching to scratch behind his ears. Bo began purring almost immediately, leaning on her legs._

_ "They have cats here?" A voice behind Elina exclaimed._

_ Elina looked up in surprise to see a boy maybe a year older than her with dark blonde hair grinning. "A few cats," Elina answered. She didn't recognize him. _

_ He set his plate down next to hers. "Can I sit here?"_

_ "Of course," Elina said quickly, a little startled. Bo meowed to get her attention and Elina returned to scratching his ears. "Did you just come to the circle?"_

_ "Earlier today," the boy replied, taking a seat casually. "I'm Anders."_

_ "Elina." She offered a smile and it broadened when Anders returned it. "You can pet Bo, he won't bite. He likes to be scratched under the chin." Elina said, straightening up._

_ Anders beamed at her. "I hadn't even thought about what it would be like if they _didn't _have cats here." The blonde boy reached to gently pet Bo, and the cat purred with even more gusto. _

_ "He likes you!" Elina told Anders, shocked. Bo usually stalked off if others tried to touch him._

_ "Cats are usually good judges of character," Anders answered. Bo moved to scent mark Elina again, and Anders flashed her another grin. "Which I guess means you've got to be pretty amazing."_

_ Elina felt herself flush and she looked down at her vegetables. "Good to know that I should go to a cat next time I'm questioning someone's character." Elina managed to answer, wondering if she sounded stupid. But Anders just laughed, and Elina felt her worries trickle away. _

Tears trickling down her face, Elina begged, "Anders, please."

"Elina," Wynne put a hand on Elina's shoulder, trying to steady the girl's shaking. The Senior Enchanter felt moisture well in her own eyes. Anders had no pulse. There was no healing she could do that would bring someone back to life. "I'm sorry."

"No. He's fine. He's going to be fine." Elina whimpered, refusing to let go of him. "He's fine. He's fine."

"He's gone, Elina," Wynne said gently, her own throat contracting as she looked at the motionless form of her student.

Elina shook her head, rocking back and forth. He couldn't be gone. Not Anders. "He's not gone." Elina sobbed, agony ripping her to shreds, pulling her apart one memory at a time.

Anders. Always getting into trouble.

Anders. Chasing cats around the tower.

Anders. Standing at their favorite window.

Anders. Making her laugh.

Anders. Never studying like he should.

Anders. Always looking out for her.

Anders.

"**He's not gone." **A voice spoke from Elina's mouth. _I'm not losing him. _Her magic sizzled around in the room.

"Elina," Wynne tried to warn as magic crackled dangerously.

_Careful. Careful! So much power! _Elina screamed to herself. It was too much like the moment before she'd lost control back in Kirkwall. _Anders. _

"Stop her!" Greagoir shouted, aware of the swell of magic around him. Wynne attempted to pull Elina away from Anders, but was thrown back against the wall of the cell by a strange force running in currents over Elina.

Greagoir lunged forward, trying to stop Elina before she took down the cell—maybe the entire damned tower. The blazing green storm whipped across the room, lights bursting before them. Greagoir couldn't reach the apprentice in time.

"**I'm not losing him." **Elina shouted through the tempest raging inside of her, around her. The light exploded, bursting through the cell before collapsing again and jolting in Anders's chest.


	7. Chapter 7- Come Back

_Solitary- Come Back_

He was falling. Or maybe flying. He could hear a voice, though, trying to pull him from the darkness. He couldn't force his eyes open.

It was her. She was calling him back. He struggled to form words, but he couldn't feel his own lips.

Then he was on fire, the brilliance of the sun, a green jolt of electricity and his chest expanded, breathing.

Elina felt the world spin around her. Voices were yelling. Shouting her name. Her vision was no longer green, just blurred and darkened. "Anders," her lips could barely move, numbness overtaking her body. She was vaguely aware she was kneeling, and wondered how she was keeping herself upright.

Something reached up to her, and she forced her eyes to focus. "Elina."

Anders.

His hand was on her cheek, his head still in her lap. His arm was shaking, but he wanted nothing more than to touch her, to feel the warmth of her skin.

She broke down into a fresh wave of tears as she moved her own hand to cover Anders's, weaving her fingers around his, not wanting to lose contact with him.

More shouting. More voices. New voices.

"He's alive!" It was Greagoir's voice that floated through Elina's mind, but she could scarcely believe his words.

Elina's whole body was wracked with exhaustion, and she fought to keep from toppling over. The only thing keeping her rooted to the spot was the feeling of Anders's touch, and his light brown eyes, open, and alive.

"Stay," Elina could only get one word out as she kept her grip on his hand. Anders freed his thumb from her grasp and dragged it gently under her eye, trying to wipe away the tears.

"I will," Anders whispered, his throat feeling as if he'd swallowed shards of glass. Elina's eyes rolled into her head, but someone caught her before she could hit the stone floor.

"Get her out of here, Cullen." Greagoir was snapping to the young Templar. "Put her in Wynne's room and stand guard out front." He forgot to use Wynne's more formal title, but decided that the current situation didn't allow for trivialities. He watched as Cullen tentatively stepped forward. Greagoir's arm on Elina's back was the only thing keeping the girl from collapsing, and Greagoir barked, "Now!"

Cullen closed the gap between them and scooped Elina up in his arms. As he straightened, she mumbled something Cullen couldn't understand, her head rolling into his chest. Cullen glanced over his shoulder at the other apprentice. Senior Enchanter Wynne was kneeling over him, casting spells while Greagoir gave orders to the other Templars who had gathered.

Elina's legs dangled over Cullen's arm as he walked out of solitary and up the stairs into the circle tower. She made one more attempt at forming words before her world slid out of view.

Apprentices were walking between morning lessons, and many of them gawked. Cullen kept his focus fixed on the girl he was holding to his chest. He'd only been by Senior Wynne's quarters once, and never inside. But when he entered, he found the room practically barren. It was small, with a mattress in the corner of the room and a desk on the wall opposite of it.

Cullen walked the length of the room in three steps, and gently placed Elina on the mattress, watching her face as it contorted. Cullen crouched down next to her. Her lips pulled down at the corners, her eyebrows drawn together. Cullen tentatively reached out. He wanted to smooth the lines above her nose, erase the grimace on her mouth.

He quickly retracted his hand, realizing his thoughts were out of place.

Greagoir hadn't given Cullen much information—it had been too chaotic in the cells. But one of the Templars had suggested smiting Elina just for safe measure. Cullen assumed that meant Elina had done something dangerous.

It was still so strange to Cullen that people feared this apprentice. Michael's warning to kill Elina now was still fresh in Cullen's mind, but he wondered how Michael could hate the apprentice so much. She looked vulnerable in the moment, her hands closed into tight fists as she slept, curled into a ball with her knees raised to her chest. She'd never shown anything but kindness, and strength.

Cullen rose, trying to come up with reasons why people would think this apprentice was so frightening. She was a mage. That was really the only thing that came to Cullen's mind. During his training with the chantry, it had been pounded into his mind—_mages are dangerous. _He'd always been chastised in lessons for his naiveté when he'd asked what was it about mages that was to be feared. The answer 'magic' was never enough for him. He shook his head as he moved to the door of Senior Enchanter Wynne's quarters, wondering if Greagoir's order for Cullen to stand guard was for Elina's safety, or to keep her locked inside.

Greagoir and Wynne stood on the steps to solitary, the Knight-Commander with his arms crossed and Wynne leaning tiredly against the wall. The First Enchanter was with Anders now, and Greagoir had ordered all of the Templars out of the crowded cell unit to give Irving the space he needed. "He was dead." Greagoir said, without a hint of a question in his voice.

Wynne nodded. "No pulse. Nothing." She ran a hand through her gray hair in an attempt to smooth it down. "And now the boy is sitting up in the cell, and though in obvious pain, he's very much alive."

"But how?" Greagoir asked, feeling a combination of frustration, exhaustion, and bewilderment.

"It's not necromancy. He's not one of the undead. I think Elina has been holding back for so long that no one knew what she was capable of doing. Whatever has happened in the last few days allowed her to reach her full potential."

"And what does that mean?" Greagoir had been thrown back into the hall by the force of Elina's blast earlier—the apprentice was more powerful than he had ever thought.

"Not that you should lock her up and hide her away, Knight-Commander, if that's what you're thinking," Wynne answered sharply.

Greagoir was used to Wynne's manner and only frowned at the older woman. "I wasn't considering that as an immediate option, Senior Enchanter. I'd just like to know what it exactly it is that we're dealing with, here. If Elina had lost control for even a moment, she could've taken down the entire tower."

"She doesn't even know how much magic she has running through her veins," Wynne explained with a small smile. "She's still traumatized by her experience before she came to the tower, Knight-Commander. She's only ever practiced healing magic because she was afraid she might hurt someone again. She's been forced to use and control her powers recently, as she was put in life-or-death situations. I understand that when your Templar assaulted her," Wynne began, and Greagoir felt a flash of anger towards the woman for attaching Michael's violence to him, though he knew as Knight-Commander he was responsible. "She channeled her magic to merely knock over a bookcase to stop him. She could've killed him, but she chose not to. _That, _Knight-Commander, is what we're 'dealing with'. An incredibly powerful apprentice with self-control and compassion."

Greagoir's frown deepened. "She's only uncovered this great power of hers in the past few days, Senior Enchanter. Self-control and compassion are not assuring when her powers lashed out less than an hour ago and threw both of us against the wall. She needs more control, careful mentoring, and a watchful eye."

Wynne returned the Knight-Commander's expression. "Precaution is important, Knight-Commander. Suspicion breeds only ill-will."

The door to solitary opened, revealing the First Enchanter and Anders. The apprentice was standing on his own two feet, swaying slightly, but otherwise very much… alive.

"First Enchanter," Greagoir said slowly. "I see that the apprentice is doing quite well."

"He had a total of three healers working on him today, Greagoir, I would say that we are not out of practice." Irving answered tiredly.

Anders still managed to swagger a bit as he said, "Sorry to disappoint you, Knight-Commander." The boy rasped, but he tried to take a step forward and had to hold himself up against the wall. Greagoir realized his strength was merely an act.

"I think it's clear that we will need to reassess your escape attempts and attacks on the Templars in the light of recent events." Greagoir sighed, watching as Anders struggled to stay on his feet. "You will be guarded at all times, and I'll be keeping a close eye on you until the First Enchanter and I discuss the events of the past few days further."

Anders raised his head slowly, defiance sparking in his eyes, a grim expression on his face, but he only nodded.

Greagoir called to one of the Templars who was guarding at the top of the stairs. "Take Apprentice Anders to get cleaned up."

"Then take him to Wynne's quarters," Irving added, with a nod of approval from the Senior Enchanter. "He will want to see Apprentice Elina. Maker knows they deserve a moment of sanity."

Greagoir sighed, but nodded. The Templar he'd called, Walter, waited for Anders to walk up the steps, but the apprentice moved slowly, painfully. Greagoir stared down his man for a few moments, and Walter nodded his understanding. One of the older Templars, Walter was the one who had run to get Greagoir when he'd found that Anders was dying in his cell. Greagoir trusted that the man wouldn't allow harm to come to Anders, now that tensions were running high with Michael's banishment.

As Walter and Anders disappeared from view, Irving turned on Greagoir, "This was unacceptable, Greagoir."

"James was trying to defend himself when Anders broke out of his cell, Irving." Greagoir snapped, his patience wearing thin between Irving and Wynne's chastising. He was doing all he could for the mages, but his own men were not the violent brutes that the Enchanters made them out to be.

"So he killed Anders?" Irving demanded sharply. The wrinkles on the First Enchanter's face seemed to have deepened, making the mage look even older and feebler. His anger, however, shone from his ageless eyes.

Greagoir struggled to keep his voice level. "He only used his abilities to smite Anders. There was no abuse. He only followed protocol. Unfortunately, Anders was weakened and couldn't take it."

"Unfortunately?" Irving hissed. "That's what you're calling it?"

Greagoir noticed that the other Templars that had remained at the top of the stairs were now watching. "We will continue this discussion later, Irving. In private. Meanwhile, I suggest you look to your own mages. Apprentice Anders has made multiple escape attempts and Apprentice Elina could have blasted the tower to pieces earlier today. Good day." Greagoir used his voice of authority, and Irving and Wynne were left with no choice but to bow their heads as Greagoir left, storming up the stairs. His men fell into step behind him, and Greagoir found himself furious asking, _How did things all start to fall apart?_

He'd like to blame Elina, but he knew it was more than the girl. She was merely the trigger for recent events. He'd allowed the abuse in solitary to go on brutally, and not been vigilant enough with his own men. Yet the mages were also at the root of the problem. He rubbed his hand over his chin, praying to Andraste for wisdom and guidance.

Elina swam through a fog, exhaustion keeping her in a unconscious state. Murky waters surrounded her mind, drowning her in silence.

When Anders entered Wynne's room, he didn't even hear Walter close the door behind him, though he knew there would be a guard standing outside. Every step he took made his entire body ache. He reminded himself that according to Wynne, he'd been dead earlier today. He guessed that he felt remarkably good for a dead man. He felt his chest tighten when he saw Elina on a mattress in the corner of the room. A small window in the corner of the room let in a gray light, indicating cloudy weather beyond the confines of the tower.

Anders moved slowly where Elina was curled up and sat down next to her. She breathed lightly, her mouth ever so slightly open. They were together. Out of solitary. She'd been the one to bring him back to life, according to Wynne.

She was safe. Alive. In front of him.

He'd watched as she'd been beaten. Feared for her when he'd heard of Michael's intended revenge. But they were together now. Safe. For the moment.

He traced Elina's lips with his fingers, his touch ghosting over her skin. Elina's eyes opened slowly, and Anders retracted his hand, watching as Elina woke.

"Is this a dream?" Elina asked in a small voice, looking at Anders with hooded blue eyes.

Anders laughed shortly, his ribs protesting. "If it is, then it's one we're both sharing. Maybe it is too good to be true." He couldn't feel her magic as he usually did, but there was still something warm and soft that radiated from her, washing over Anders.

Elina sat up, bracing her hands on the mattress to get herself into a sitting position. Anders was in front of her, mischievous brown eyes meeting her own. "Are we… Is this real?" Elina asked again. Now it was her turn to reach out to Anders. She brushed his blonde hair out of his eyes, her fingers running along his jaw. "You were dead." She didn't break away from Anders's gaze, not wanting to wake up if this was all, indeed, a dream.

"I was." Anders answered, and Elina's eyes widened in horror. She raised her other hand, holding Anders's face with a sense of panic. He leaned closer to her. "But your voice called me back. How could I say no?"

Elina broke into a small smile, though her voice was watery when she said, "I thought I'd lost you."

"You can't get rid of me that easily," Anders whispered. They were sitting close enough for Anders to feel Elina's breathing, their faces inches away.

"You left, though." Elina replied quietly. "You left. You were gone. Anders, I thought you weren't coming back."

"I will always come back to you." Anders responded, his voice reverberating in his chest.

Elina's eyes brimmed with tears, her fingers tracing circles on Anders's jaw. He was here. She felt warmth running over her skin. Anders leaned closer slowly, his head tilting. She closed the distance between them as she closed her eyes, tears spilling over. One of his hands found itself in her hair, the other around her back, pulling her to him.

His lips brushed hers, and she held his face close. "Promise," Elina breathed, drawing back ever so slightly, letting her hands fall away.

"Wherever I am, I will come back to you." Anders whispered, resting his forehead on hers. He took her hands and pressed them to his chest. "I promise." He kissed the bridge of her nose. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer to her, then pressed her lips against his mouth.

He smiled into the kiss, and then he felt her laugh. She was sunshine. She leaned back to look at Anders with soft blue eyes. Anders brushed away a stray tear clinging to her eyelashes.

Elina took in his face, stubble across his chin, his hair slightly wet, presumably from washing up after all of his time in solitary. "I'm not really… I mean…" Elina felt redness creep up her neck. "Was that…?" She couldn't finish her thoughts, and now knew she was blushing furiously.

Anders chuckled at her embarrassment and she buried her face in his shoulder. "Elina, I kissed you, you kissed me. I think we can worry about the rest later. On a day when one of us hasn't died and come back to life." He encircled her in his arms.

"We've caused a lot of trouble in the tower," she said into his chest.

"You were such a rule follower!" Anders chastised. "I must've been a bad influence."

"The worst," Elina said as she finally lifted her face, the red faded from her cheeks. "I've broken every rule that Greagoir set, I think."

Anders sighed in mock disapproval. "Shame on you, Elina. That was _my _job."

"I've turned into quite the rebel. You have a rival now. We might be the most delinquent of all the apprentices." Elina told him. Her expression clouded over. "We're going to have to talk to Greagoir. We're going to be in a lot of trouble.. At least I am."

"Stop worrying," Anders said, flicking her forehead.

"I-"

Anders kissed her again, cutting off her words. For the moment, there was nothing more important than that they were with each other.

They were together, warm and safe in each other's arms.

* * *

**A/N: A huge thank you to readers and reviewers! Romance isn't my strong point, so constructive criticism is, as always, much appreciated. I hope this chapter was a little bit of sweetness after everything Elina and Anders have been through, and there's about to be a lot more craziness to follow. Again, thank you to the moon and back! You guys are the best. **


	8. Chapter 8- No Return

_Solitary- No Return_

"Very good, Jowan." Enchanter Uldred smiled thinly.

Jowan coughed, lungs burning, as he held himself up on the desk. Uldred sat before him, eyes cold and calculating. When Jowan felt something wet on his lips, he lifted a trembling hand up, wiping his mouth. When he pulled his hand away, he saw red shining on his fingers.

"You've made more progress in the last few hours than you do working on other forms of magic, yes?"

Jowan only managed a nod, his body feeling cold. His stomach was rolling, and he wasn't sure he could form words at this point.

"I think that is enough for today." Enchanter Uldred said lightly, though his nasally voice seemed to add bite to his words. "Remember, my dear boy, to be extremely careful. The Templars fear this magic above all else because of the power it gives. Do not raise suspicion."

"I understand," Jowan rasped, bowing his head. "Thank you, Enchanter Uldred." Jowan staggered out of the room, his legs unsteady and his steps uneven.

He took a moment to lean against the stone wall in the hallway. He'd approached the Enchanter early in the morning, before the other apprentices were awake. Uldred seemed to know, before Jowan even opened his mouth, why Jowan was at his door. Uldred had told Jowan to return after lunch—he would teach Jowan the basics.

Through morning lessons, Jowan could only wonder if he'd made the right choice. Uldred had said there was no going back once Jowan started down this path. The path of blood magic.

But Jowan had returned to Uldred's quarters after he'd picked at his lunch, and Uldred explained that he would only teach Jowan to a certain point. After all, blood magic was incredibly dangerous and Uldred was putting himself at risk as well.

Some part of Jowan wanted to ask Enchanter Uldred why he was willing to teach Jowan at all. No Enchanter had ever taken an interest in him before. But it was either pride or fear that kept Jowan from questioning Uldred, and he wasn't sure which.

Now, torchlight flickering through the hall, Jowan let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He'd taken to blood magic easily. Naturally. It was so simple. Yet he didn't feel _good. _

He felt that he could only breathe shallowly, a sense of panic rising in his chest at the realization of the path he'd begun. Why was he doing this? Was this really what he wanted?

_"Jowan! Where are you, useless child?"_

_ Jowan bit his lip, eyes overly wide with terror. He dug his nails into his palms, praying that she wouldn't check his hiding spot. He was too big to fit underneath the bed now, but the wardrobe was just large enough for him to sit at the bottom, knees to his chest._

_ "I know you're here." His mother's voice slurred. "Claudia told me that you picked up your pay today. I told you to let me take it, you little brat."_

_ Jowan clasped shaking hands over his mouth, trying to stifle his breathing. He'd been washing dishes for a month to earn a few coins, and knew his mother would spend it all on ale if he didn't claim it first. He'd already hidden the pay under the floorboards in his room. _

_ "Wretch!" His mother shouted raggedly, and Jowan heard something shatter. She must be throwing their plates or bowls again. _

_ Jowan squeezed his eyes shut, begging silently for her just to pass out before she found him. She would hit him until he told her where he'd hidden the money. _

_ "I know that you're here," she wheezed, and Jowan heard her move into the bedroom. He felt horror squeeze his at his lungs, contracting them and making him feel like he was about to be sick. "Not under the bed." Jowan heard her say. The floor creaked as she moved about the bedroom. "Where are you hiding, you disgusting creature?"_

_ Suddenly the room was silent, but Jowan kept his hands over his mouth, knowing she was still in the room, waiting, listening._

_ The door to the wardrobe swung open, though there wasn't much light that met Jowan's eyes. Instead, the stench of alcohol invaded the air around him. He gasped, cowering, as his mother snarled into the darkness, "Found you."_

Jowan pressed a hand against his forehead. He hadn't wanted those memories to resurface. He didn't want to think about his mother again.

He shook his head and straightened, letting his hands drop to his sides. He'd chosen the forbidden magic, and it would make him stronger. He would never be subject to his mother's drunkenness again. He wouldn't have to see Elina's face bloodied. He wouldn't have to live with knowing Anders was in solitary and he had done nothing to help his friend.

"Jowan! Andraste's ass, where have you been all day?" Therese's voice cracked through the hall, and Jowan quickly straightened.

"I was busy with lessons," Jowan explained, his voice rough, still feeling sick.

"The other apprentices saw Elina being carried by some Templar through the tower, unconscious. And then they say Anders surfaced from solitary, as well. What happened? Do you know?" Therese demanded, her eyes flashing as she waved her hands around her.

Jowan gaped at the elf. "I… I had no idea. I hadn't heard."

"Dammit." Therese muttered. "Not helpful."

"Are they alright?" Jowan asked quickly, Therese's manic manner worrying him.

"I heard that Anders died and came back to life today, so I don't bloody well know." Therese snapped. Her expression softened as she took in Jowan's pale face and terrified eyes. "They're both alive now, at the very least. Come on, let's go find them."

Jowan followed Therese down the hall, berating himself. He'd yet again been absent while something happened to his friends. Why was he always too late? Why, despite his intentions, was he always wrong?

Elina wriggled under the thin blanket, her face had been pressed against Anders's chest. She'd been trying not to move and wake him up, but her arm had gone completely numb and she had to adjust her body weight. Anders's eyes opened slowly. She chastised herself for waking him up, knowing he must be exhausted.

"Mm," Anders groaned, his arms tightening around Elina. "Tell Wynne I can't make it to lessons today."

Elina couldn't help but to laugh at that, smiling as his eyes found hers. "I don't think Wynne's expecting you," she teased.

Anders blinked a few times before he remembered where he was. For the first time in what seemed like eternity, he wasn't in solitary. Elina was looking at him with twinkling eyes, though her face was tired. He was holding her, and her hands were resting on his chest, skin pale against his dark robes. "I guess not," Anders muttered, marveling at her closeness.

They stayed like that, quietly, both thinking. Elina nestled her nose into his collarbone, her palm over his heart, every beat still seeming like something of a miracle. She felt she belonged tucked into his chest.

He'd kissed her earlier. And she'd kissed back. She'd never even let herself consider the possibility of romance before. It wasn't allowed in the tower, and she hadn't expected anyone to harbor feelings for her, least of all Anders.

He'd seen her fall asleep with her mouth open, drooling on the study desk. She'd been so embarrassed that night he'd woken her up.

He'd also been there when she was sick, sneezing and coughing, sweating from a high fever. He hadn't left her, skipping lessons with the glib response that he was better than the other apprentices already.

He'd held her close when she'd cried at Enchanter Elaine's death a few years before, ignoring her insistence that she was fine and keeping his arms around her until she broke down.

Anders felt his eyelids drooping again. His sunshine was here, though the sound of rain against the windowpane made him smile, remembering the moment he'd realized that he loved her.

"How are you feeling?" Elina asked gently, breaking the comfortable silence. Neither knew that the other was smiling secretly.

Anders stretched experimentally. He felt like he'd been pounded on with hammers. "Just a little sore."

"I'm betting that's the understatement of the century," Elina answered as she sat up, running a hand through her tangled hair unsuccessfully, her fingers catching in knots.

"Well, I did just come back to life. Well, you brought me back." Anders told her, pushing himself into a sitting position as well. "I'm fine, really."

Elina didn't seem reassured, and her frown deepened, familiar creases appearing between her eyes. Her first concern was for Anders. Her second, however, now carried her to thinking of how exactly she _had _brought him back to life. Her magic had been almost out of her control, slipping through her fingers. She had been only a moment away from being unable to contain her powers before her magic had gone straight to Anders's heart.

"It's strange," Anders murmured, drawing Elina out of her thoughts. He was looking at her with narrowed eyes. "I can't feel your magic anymore. What you're feeling. I mean, I can guess you're worrying from the expression on your face, but I can't… can't feel it."

"What?" Elina's eyebrows pulled together. "I'm not doing anything, though. But it could be what felt so different this morning." She bit her lip and Anders put his arm around her shoulders. The motion was familiar, and their closeness as easy as it always was. Elina, however, still seemed to be perturbed.

Anders squeezed her shoulder. "I didn't mean to make you more concerned. We can figure it out later, Elina."

She nodded and leaned in closer to him again, and he tucked her under his chin. Her thoughts still travelled to her magic, again, and she cringed as the moment she'd held all of her power in solitary was much to similar to the day she'd become a murderer.

Anders kissed the top of her head, not needing her magic to know that she was feeling anxious again. What had happened to her over the last few days? Michael had beaten her, and his threats were not empty. The guard in solitary had implied Michael was planning some sort of revenge.

"Elina," Anders spoke into her hair.

"Yes?"

_Did Michael find you? Did he hurt you? Did anyone else hurt you? What else is worrying you? _Elina kept many things to herself, Anders knew. She wouldn't want to tell him even if something had happened. But what if Michael was still planning something? What would happen next time Anders did something that got him thrown into solitary?

"Thank you. For coming for me. For saving me." Anders said instead.

"I didn't do much," Elina replied in a low voice. "I don't know what magic I used before, but it was really Irving and Wynne who healed you today."

"Maker, Elina," Anders snorted, "you brought someone back from the dead and you're being humble about it?"

There was a knock at the door, and Elina and Anders stood in unison, Anders's silent questions momentarily forgotten as Wynne entered the room, closing the door behind her.

"How are both of you feeling?" Wynne asked them brusquely as she crossed the room. She placed a hand on each of their foreheads and nodded approvingly.

"Fine," Elina said, and Anders nodded his agreement, ignoring the pain in his neck as he did so.

Wynne looked them over with a critical eye. "You have caused no small amount of trouble."

Elina looked at the floor, caught between nervousness and embarrassment, while Anders sighed. "I'll say. I think maybe we should start a riot next. Or maybe demand that the Templar's bake pies as an apology for killing me."

Wynne's mouth twitched, but her voice was sharp as she said, "I'm being serious, Anders. The Knight-Commander is currently deliberating your fate. You'd better be on your best behavior."

Anders nodded, and Elina asked, "What do you think will happen to us?"

"I have no idea." Wynne shook her head. "Anders made trouble for himself by trying to escape, and Elina, you could've brought down the tower today with the amount of magic you used on Anders."

Elina blinked in surprise. "I… what?"

The shock didn't go unnoticed by Wynne. She suspected that Elina didn't know of her true potential, and now she had confirmed it. The girl had been blindly using her magic for years. "The amount of magic you had—it ran over you like a protective current. It threw me back when I tried to touch you. And when it reached its peak, it exploded. The wave of magic would've knocked down walls if it had been any stronger."

Elina's face turned to horror. "Wynne, are you hurt? I'm so sorry."

Wynne waved a hand, dissipating Elina's apology. "I'm not a frail old woman, Elina. The problem is that the Knight-Commander was there as well. Your magic is incredibly powerful for someone as young as yourself, and dangerous if you aren't trained correctly."

"So Greagoir's just afraid that Elina's strong?" Anders crossed his arms. "What she has is a gift."

Elina put a hand on Anders's shoulder. "No, it makes me worried as well. I could've hurt someone." Elina swallowed hard, berating herself for coming close to destruction again.

_It was for Anders. _Elina reminded herself. _You saved Anders._

"We'll work together on your magic, Elina." Wynne assured her, the Enchanter's voice suddenly warmer. "I just wanted you both to be aware of what was going on outside of this room. And warn you so that you won't do anything else rash." Wynne looked intentionally at Anders. "Your friends are waiting outside for you. Actually, most of the apprentices were gathered, but I shooed them away. There's a guard standing outside the door. He has orders that people can come see you, but you two are not allowed to leave for the time being."

Anders and Elina nodded, and Wynne moved to open the door. "You can come in now," Wynne spoke into the hallway.

Therese and Jowan poked their heads into the room. "There you are!" Therese shouted, immediately ambushing her friends, throwing her arms around them, not bothering to go for individual hugs. "Do you have any idea how worried I've been?" She demanded.

Elina smiled as Therese took a step back, the elf glaring indignantly at them.

Jowan approached more slowly, and Elina watched him as Therese recounted what she'd heard from the other apprentices without stopping for a breath.

Elina's eyebrows pulled together as she took in Jowan's haggard appearance. His face seemed to sag, overly pale, and purple bags lined his eyes. He saw her scrutinizing him in her motherly fashion and offered a smile, though it was small and sad.

"It's good to see you both," Jowan put in once Therese stopped for a moment. Anders grinned at his friend and pulled him over, clapping him on the back.

"I'll be around to give you a hard time for years to come, don't worry." Anders teased, but it was his turn now to notice that something was off with Jowan.

Therese began ranting again to Anders now about how the apprentices only ever got half-details and had made up a story that Elina summoning spirits and splitting life forces.

Elina placed a gentle hand on Jowan's arm, stepping behind Therese as the elf rambled. "What's wrong, Jowan?" She whispered.

Jowan tried to smile again, but his eyes remained unchanged. "I was worried. That's all." In his mind, he was shouting at himself. Again, he'd been preoccupied while his friends fought for their lives. Anders had _died. _And Jowan wasn't even there.

"That's not all." Elina told him quietly, but her eyes were kind. She squeezed his arm lightly. "You look sick."

Jowan clenched his jaw. He wanted to tell Elina everything. He wanted to apologize for not being there for her. He wanted to explain where he'd been. He wanted to confess that today, he'd become a blood mage. Instead he nodded, knowing that he wouldn't say a word when she asked him again what was wrong. He'd made his decision. There was no going back.

"There's no going back now, is there?" Greagoir muttered, more to himself than to Thomas. "What's done is done. We must deal with the consequences." He sat behind his desk, forehead resting on his hand.

Thomas had been Greagoir's second-in-command for three years now, and knew that the stern Knight-Commander rarely deferred to his judgment. It seemed to Thomas now that Greagoir was looking for some assurance. Thomas, who had been pacing Greagoir's study, took a seat across the desk. "The problems we already had escalated over the last few days, Greagoir. We lost control. Now we have to gain it back."

Greagoir didn't look up, tiredly answering, "It will be no simple matter, Thomas. Anders's escape attempts should have kept him in solitary for another two months. Because I let him out, the other mages will begin to see I'm becoming lax. There's unrest among them, and I can't let this turn into an opportunity to rebel." Greagoir lifted his head slowly.

Thomas nodded, rubbing his beard thoughtfully. "So the apprentice's actions can't go unpunished."

"At the same time, the Templars who guarded solitary were abusing their powers. Michael assaulted Elina. James killed Anders." Greagoir sighed deeply.

"You've banished Michael, and we both know that James was only doing his duty. I would have done the same, Greagoir." Thomas said, dropping his hand to rest it on the desk.

"The problem runs deeper than that." The Knight-Commander answered tiredly. "You saw Michael as he was sent away. He was crazed, Thomas. The mages are dangerous, and Templars must remember that. But Michael's hate went beyond that."

Thomas leaned back in the chair, frowning. "He had reason to fear Apprentice Elina more than most. You saw proof of that today. It doesn't justify his actions, but it explains them."

Greagoir shook his head almost sadly. "How could he have known what Elina was capable of?" Greagoir mumbled, but Michael's words were as clear now as they were last night. _She's a monster. She attacked me, she'll attack you. She'll kill you all one day if you let her live, I swear it_

"What do you intend to do?" Thomas asked his superior.

The Knight-Commander's eyebrows drew together. "Anders will have to be punished. Rebellion is always our worst fear, is it not?" Greagoir felt the words weigh on his tongue as he spoke. He was a Templar, and he served the Maker and the people of Ferelden. It didn't make his decision any easier, especially when he knew that his own men had only made the situation worse. "I'll need to speak to our men about their behavior, as well."

Thomas nodded slowly. "What of the other apprentice, Greagoir? She's dangerous. I could feel the magical wave she sent out today from the second floor, Greagoir. If she'd been any stronger, the entire tower could've collapsed."

_They're all dangerous, Knight-Commander! That apprentice beside you… that thing, will only bring destruction. _

Elina was not violent, Greagoir knew this. He truly wanted to trust in the girl, and not to be wary of her. But she was powerful, and with her magic came the danger of her not knowing how to control herself. And, as much as Greagoir didn't want to consider the possibility, she was susceptible to corruption as well. Demons of the Fade liked to prey on the mages who were the strongest. Even without the influence of a demon, powerful mages could let the pride overcome their other senses. She was a threat to the tower, and to herself.

He still remembered hearing about Elina as she was brought to the tower for the first time. He felt a sick sense of repulsion that such a young girl could've committed such a terrible thing. But at the same time, he was sympathetic for a terrified child who had lost control of her powers and would live the rest of her life with what she had done.

The Knight-Commander realized Thomas was waiting for a response. Grimly, he answered, "I don't know."


	9. Chapter 9- Run

**_A/N: I have written, re-written, and re-written this chapter like crazy, but it's finally going up! The song "Flames" by Vast was pretty much on replay while I was writing the end of it. Thank you for reading! _**

* * *

_Solitary- Run_

_"How could you?" The woman rounded on her as she stood, eyes on the ground before her, her hands tied behind her back. She could hear the woman sobbing._

_ "It was magic, Miss. We've sent for the Templars to come for her," the guard next to Elina answered._

_ The woman asked through tears, "Why? Why would you do this?"_

_ Elina couldn't look up. She couldn't see the bodies again. She couldn't see what she'd done. She'd already cried herself dry. She felt empty. Hollow._

_ "Answer me!" The woman grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her. "You murdered my son! Why?" She was shaking, and Elina still couldn't make herself meet the woman's eyes._

_ The guard stepped between them, and Elina stumbled back, her bound hands not helping her balance. She fell to the ground, not registering any pain._

_ "You killed my little boy!" The woman screamed, the guard holding her back as she tried to lunge at Elina. "You monster!"_

_ Elina bowed her head. She was nothing less than a monster. The children weren't teasing her any more. They were dead. And she had killed them._

_ She had tried telling the guards through panicked breaths that she hadn't meant to hurt them. She didn't know what she'd done._

_ "Monster!"_

Elina jolted awake, her heart racing in her chest. She gasped for breath, covered in sweat. The nightmare was nothing more than a memory, though for Elina, memories were far worse than nightmares.

She sat up slowly, her arms wrapping around herself.

The dream had been so vivid. It had taken her back to Kirkwall, far from where she was now, in Wynne's quarters. The room was being used as a place to temporarily hold Elina, and Wynne had moved to the Enchanter's dormitories for the night. Anders had been taken away somewhere else as well, leaving Elina alone in the darkness.

The moonlight only illuminated enough of the room for shadows to loom, and Elina swallowed hard as she clambered to her knees and moved to the window. She rested her head against the window, the cool glass pressed against her skin. She'd sworn to herself never to use her magic to hurt anyone. But she'd almost killed Michael, and nearly taken more lives again today. She was losing her resolve, growing desperate.

Elina let out a deep breath, fogging the window for a moment. Michael had called her a monster, and it wasn't the first time.

She shouldn't have been able to bring Anders back from the dead. It was impossible. It should be impossible. And she'd almost killed Wynne and Greagoir in the process. She thought she'd been in control, but she was so close to collapsing part of the tower—and who knew how much damage that would've caused?

Everything had happened so quickly over the last few days, she hadn't stopped to consider anything other than Anders surviving, and solitary ending. But she'd allowed her magic to grow stronger, nearly losing control. Elina sat back on the mattress, drawing her knees to her chest. She didn't want to sleep again if she was only going to remember.

Greagoir waited as the Templars gathered in the library. It was past curfew for the mages, and he was sure his men were tired and displeased that he had called them together. But they stood at attention before him, waiting.

The Knight-Commander looked at the faces he knew well, and it pained him to wonder which of those in front of him had been responsible for different abuses of the mages.

"Templars," Greagoir said, drawing any distracted eyes to him. "I have called you here tonight to remind you of your duties. When you joined the order, you took vows to serve and protect. You are loyal, and dedicated. But there is something that you need to understand that may have been forgotten after your years of serving."

Damian watched the Knight-Commander with anger. Michael, his friend, loyal and dedicated, had been disgraced by the Knight-Commander. Dragged out of the tower and expelled from the Order. It was madness.

"You serve to protect the people of Ferelden. And those people include the mages, who are your charges." Greagoir's voice turned cold as he felt the atmosphere shift in the library. Questioning stares turned into frustrated glares. How had it come to this? "It has come to my attention that good men, the Templars under my command, have had their perceptions of this warped. The mages here are under your protection. They should look to you with trust. I know there is no friendship or even kinship here among mages and Templars, but I will not tolerate abuses."

Damian fumed, his hands curling into angry fists. He felt Jayden beside him tense as well. They had expected this. After Jayden had dragged Michael out of the Circle under the Knight-Commander's orders, he had come to Damian with his concerns. The Knight-Commander was growing soft toward the mages. He was taking their side instead of supporting his own men.

Greagoir looked sharply at the Templars before him. "I am aware of the growing discontent among the mages, as well. And I will not tolerate their rule-breaking either. Those who do not keep the peace in this tower, mages and Templars alike, will not have their actions excused. There is a precarious balance we must keep—we serve the Maker, and we protect his people. I will deal with the mages who have threatened the safety of others. The Apprentice Anders, I'm sure you are well aware of the situation, will be returned to solitary. But if there are any actions by the Templars that are unjust, I will be swift in my punishment."

Jayden looked at Damian from the corner of his eye. The Knight-Commander was truly compromised by the mages. After the Apprentice Anders had caused so much trouble, broken so many rules, he was to be simply returned, untouched to solitary, where he would no doubt continue to threaten the safety of others.

"And the Apprentice Elina?" It was Seth who spoke up now, present during Michael's ranting before he was thrown out of the tower. "She is a danger, Knight-Commander."

Greagoir had a growing headache, and his patience was wearing thin. He was constantly questioned by the mages, by his own men, and even by himself. "She will be under strict supervision."

"We heard what happened earlier today, Knight-Commander," Damian said harshly, his temper finally letting his tongue loose. "She could've brought down the tower—killed all of us and let the mages free."

"You know very well her intention if you've heard the rumors," the Knight-Commander snapped. "This is not a witch-hunt, and I will not allow it to become one."

Damian clenched his jaw tightly, keeping himself quiet. The Knight-Commander was wrapped around that apprentice's little finger.

"Every person in this tower will be under strict watch from now on. If you suspect a Templar of abuse, or a mage of dangerous intent, you will come to _me. _Is that understood?" The Knight-Commander barked.

"Yes, Ser!" The Templars responded in kind, saluting smartly.

"Dismissed," Greagoir said, feeling more than exhausted. He had now angered some of his own men. The First Enchanter and many of the other mages would be furious with him for returning Anders to solitary. There was no way to keep everyone in the tower happy. But he was the Knight-Commander, and his job wasn't to avoid stepping on toes. It was to keep people safe.

Damian had already amassed a small group of Templars in the hall as they walked out of earshot from the others, to a staircase in the shadows.

"You were right, Seth. He's been completely taken by the mage's persuasion." Damian felt his heart pounding in his chest, accelerated by his anger.

"And the apprentice is still a danger to us all." Jayden put in. "Michael swore that she would bring about our destruction. He said her voice changed when she nearly killed him. There must be a demon working inside of her."

Seth frowned. "We would've been able to detect it. She can't be possessed fully."

"Maybe she made a deal with it. Only calls upon it in times of need." Jayden suggested darkly. "A blood mage."

The newest recruit, Cullen, approached them, his eyebrows knit together with an expression of concern on his face. Jayden signaled for them to fall quiet, and they waited until he passed them before speaking again.

"Even that one is like the Knight-Commander. The mages have him convinced that they're harmless. He defended Apprentice Elina." Seth growled. "But I haven't forgotten how dangerous mages are." He still remembered every detail of the apostate's face. How could he forget the woman who murdered his sister? One mage the Templars didn't catch in time. Their negligence had cost his innocent sister her life. His eyes were burning as he looked at his friends. "We can't let this threat remain."

"The Knight-Commander won't listen to us. And if we try anything, he'll have us kicked out of the Order like Michael." Damian answered, shifting his weight, moving from one stair to another, his adrenaline still coursing through his veins. "But we can't just do nothing."

Jayden frowned. "We can force the demon out. The Knight-Commander won't be able to dispute it then. He'll have to admit that Michael was correct."

"We can't just take a demon as a prisoner. It will fight us to the end." The quiet Templar, Adam, spoke up.

"Then we bring the demonic ashes back to the Knight-Commander ourselves." Seth hissed. "If he won't do what's right, then we're left with no choice. The apprentice is a danger to all of us. My sister died because the Templars couldn't do their job—they failed to kill a mage who would go on to become a murderer. We can't let that happen again."

The others nodded grimly. "It's our responsibility," Adam said softly. "We serve and protect. And the apprentice is a danger."

Seth's mouth twisted. "A monster."

Anders had been asleep when the Templars grabbed him from his room, dragging him down the hallway. He didn't know what was happening, if Greagoir had finally decided to just kill him and be done with it, or throw him back in solitary for good. But he realized they were not headed anywhere near solitary, but to Wynne's room. To Elina.

The door swung open, light pouring into the room and jarring Elina from her thoughts. She had been resting her chin on her knees, her thoughts circling for hours. Her head jerked up, and she blinked, eyes adjusting.

"Stop your struggling," one voice was growling.

The source of light was a torch, carried by one of the Templars coming into the room.

Elina quickly stepped down from the mattress, mind whirling as she tried to understand the scene before her. There were four Templars, and two were half carrying someone else—

"Anders." Elina breathed, her eyes growing wide with panic.

Anders fought the grip on his arms as he realized what the Templars were intending to do. They were going to do something to Elina. Maker knew what. "Elina!" Anders tried to wrench himself away from the Templars. "Get out of here!"

She didn't move. She recognized them all. The one placing the torch in a sconce was in solitary with Michael the day she'd gone to see Anders. The two holding Anders were the ones who had dragged Michael out of the tower. And the last was a soft-spoken man she knew as Adam. "Has Greagoir made his judgment?" Elina asked, trying to keep any fear out of her voice.

"The Knight-Commander has refused to see you for what you are." The Templar, Damian, answered her vehemently. The light from the torch danced across the room, throwing shadows across the floor. "You have twisted his mind, convinced him you're not the abomination you are."

Elina's eyes flicked to Anders, who was still straining, trying to break free. "I haven't done anything." Elina answered quickly. "But if it is me you want, then you can have me. Just let Anders go."

"No," Anders snarled, but Jayden swiftly punched him in the stomach, and Anders dropped to his knees coughing, not in any shape to be fighting back.

"We need him," Damian answered, stepping closer to Elina. "I haven't forgotten your little display in solitary—the way you two tried to protect each other."

Elina clenched her jaw. "And why? What can hurting us accomplish?" Her breath was picking up as she began to panic. They weren't sent by the Knight-Commander, and they obviously had no qualms about hurting Anders.

It was Adam who spoke up from where he stood at the door. "Can you explain how you brought someone back to life?" He asked. "Or how, despite Michael using his Templar abilities, you were able to cast spells and overwhelm him?"

"I…" Elina shook her head, desperation creeping into her voice. "I don't know. I swear I don't know."

"This is pointless, Adam. We're going to have to force it out of her." Damian snapped, striding forward toward Elina. The apprentice tried to step away from him, taking steps backward until she ran into the wall and Damian grabbed her wrist, dragging her across the room. "We know you've made deals with a demon. Michael tried to warn the Knight-Commander, but he wouldn't listen."

"A demon?" The apprentice gasped. Her eyes were over bright, pretty pink lips parted. Damian could see how easy it would be to fall prey to her act of innocence. She acted vulnerable, desperate, scared.

"Then smite her to see if your theory is correct!" Anders shouted. He tried to get to his feet but was forced back down to the floor. "If she's possessed, you'll know right away." The Templars were insane. Paranoid to the extent they would suspect Elina of being an abomination just because she was powerful.

One of the Templars holding Anders snarled, "Making deals with demons doesn't mean she's possessed. It hasn't taken control of her body yet. It just lurks in the corners of her mind, helping her from the fade."

"You're insane!" Anders roared, and then he found a knee in his back, pushing him completely down against the floor, his face pressed against the stone.

Elina's face had gone completely white. Her heart was racing in her chest. "Let him go, please. Don't hurt him." She said quickly, hands shaking. She couldn't think.

"Here's what we're going to do. You let the demon come out fully. Stop hiding it. Or we force it out of you." Damian's grip on her wrist was cutting off all circulation to her hand, her wrist bruising under his armored cutch. "So if you don't want your lover to suffer, you'll show yourself for what you really are."

"Don't listen to them." Anders groaned as the Templars dragged him into a sitting position. One drew his sword, holding it at Anders' neck.

Elina's breath came in short bursts. Anders was going to be hurt. Because of her. If she wasn't close to him, if he had never become close with her, he wouldn't be in this situation. It was all because of her, and her magic.

"Please, I am begging you."

The words caught Damian off his guard, the apprentice looking at him with eyes filling with tears. Her lips were trembling, so much fear in her face. She was terrified.

Then Elina was thrown to the floor as Damian shoved her away. "You truly are an excellent actress. I can see how the Knight-Commander would be fooled." Damian nodded to Jayden. "Break his arm first. It'll make him squirm less if we have to cut off his hand."

"No!" Elina pushed herself back to her feet, panic completely taking over her mind. Damian grabbed her around the waist and hauled her away from Anders. She blindly kicked. She needed to call upon her magic. She needed to stop them from hurting him. She began gathering the energy around her. _Stop them, stop them, stop them. _

"Stupid girl," Damian snarled in her ear, and then lights exploded before her eyes, pain ripping through her mind. It was gone. She sagged in Damian's arms. "Do it, Seth."

The Templar still holding Anders nodded, and Anders squeezed his eyes shut as he was pushed back to the ground. Then there was an audible crunch, pressure on his left arm. And then he felt it.

Elina heard Anders cry out, though the room before her was nothing but a blur. "I'm sorry," she mumbled. Her mind was consumed by fog, leaving her swimming through a dark abyss.

_Fight back. They're hurting him. Fight._

Damian still held her against him, and her vision began to focus.

Anders was a heap on the ground that the Templars stood over. There was no one coming for them. Even if someone tried, Adam stood by the door. The guard that had been outside the room must've abandoned them.

"Nothing. It's not enough," Damian said sharply. The apprentice had stopped struggling.

Jayden hesitated. "What if the demon doesn't come out? The Knight-Commander will have us thrown out."

"I have no doubt that she'll reveal herself soon enough." Seth answered roughly. He twisted the apprentice's arm, and Anders groaned.

"Elina's made no deals with demons," Anders managed to say. "You're not going to find anything inside of her."

Seth drew his own sword and pressed it into the apprentice's back. "I will riddle him with holes if I have to prove it, but I will not allow this abomination to continue to put lives at risk."

_Abomination. Monster. Murderer. _

Elina felt her knees give out beneath her, and Damian allowed her to crumple to the floor.

Was it a demon? Elina felt the room spin around her. The Templars all watching her, Anders with a sword in his back. She questioned it herself. Was it a demon that gave her this much power?

"Show yourself!" Seth yelled, driving his sword into the apprentice below him.

His eyes were crazed, wide with anger and resolve.

The sound Anders made sucked the air from Elina's lungs. She dragged herself

across the stone as Seth yanked his sword back. She couldn't form words, just wanted to get to Anders.

_Stop them. Protect him. _

Then she could feel it. Her magic coming back. Trickling toward her. She was on her hands and knees, not even feeling the tears streaming down her face. She was closer to Anders now, and the Templar was pointing a sword an inch from her face. She could see blood on the back of Anders' robes now, his breathing shallow, rattling.

She struggled to her feet, swaying as she stood.

_They will kill him. Kill them before they get the chance. _

More magic. She knew the signs now. She knew what she was capable of. She looked again at the man holding the sword above her. Her whole body shook. "Please stop this. I only ask that you let him go."

Maybe she was an abomination. Maybe she should let them kill her. To make this nightmare end. It would be justice. She'd murdered those children years ago.

But she wouldn't let them kill Anders.

The Templar's face simply grimaced at her, full of so much hate it made her feel sick to see it. "If you love him so much, save him. Let the demon out. If you don't, I'll kill him. And then see what other friend I can bring in next. The apprentice who follows you around- Jowan? We can get him next."

"No," Elina squeezed her eyes shut. They were all in danger because of her.

She didn't know how, but she tried to summon a demon. Her breathing came in bursts as she desperately shouted to the corners of her mind to be possessed. She wanted to leave the door open. Anders was bleeding out in front of her, Jowan would be next.

But there was no demon that came in. No change in presence. There was something that was protecting her.

If she couldn't call out a demon, Anders would die. Jowan would be next. She called the magic to her, and it came easily.

"Do you feel that?" Jayden asked, looking at Seth as the apprentice before him went completely still.

"I thought you smited her!" Seth turned to Damian, though he kept his sword at the apprentice's throat.

Damian hurried toward them. "I did! She had no magic left. It can't be-"

"Just kill me and don't hurt them." The apprentice rasped, her voice broken. She could feel Anders' life slipping away before her. Even with the magic she gathered, she didn't know if it would be enough to save him. But she couldn't lose him again.

"Step away from him," Seth shouted, fear creeping over him as he felt magic move through the room, amassing around the apprentice. "I swear, I'll just kill him now if you don't show yourself."

There was no demon to show him. It was the magic that left her with currents running over her skin, protecting her. She just needed to move to Anders. She just had to reach out to him.

Anders coughed, and she opened her eyes to see red spreading over his robes. He was dying. "_**I have to protect him. I have to protect them.**_" Elina said. It was her voice. Her voice with power behind it. The magic she suppressed because she feared it. And she could decide what to do with it now. She moved the barrier away from herself, to her hands. To do what she did best. To heal.

She stepped toward Anders, and Seth lunged, his sword sinking through her skin, plunging through her side.

The apprentice fell away from the blade, crumpling to the floor next to Anders, as Seth stood over her, his sword now stained red. He dropped his weapon, metal clattering on the floor as he backed away from it.

"What did you do?" Adam asked, horrified.

It hurt Elina to breathe, to move, but she managed to reach her hand out to Anders, fingers grasping at his arm. She willed the magic in her hands to Anders, feeling all warmth drain from her body as she did so.

"The magic's leaving." Jayden said.

Adam felt sick. "There is no demon. Maker, what have we done? You stabbed her, Seth!"

"Greagoir will have our heads for this. It won't be expulsion." Seth's voice was low.

Anders felt his eyes open slowly. He'd been somewhere dark. And he saw Elina in front of him. Her face was pale. She was lying on the floor next to him.

"We'll have to kill them. We can say they were trying to escape." Damian's voice reached Anders.

"Elina," Anders whispered. She was healing him, giving him her mana, the sun shining on him in the dark tower room. He could feel his arm mending itself, the throbbing in his back dissipate. Then he saw her eyes dimming, looked down and saw blood staining her robes. "Maker, no." Anders pleaded as her hand fell away from him. He couldn't feel any pain. She'd saved him. Again.

"Quickly, we have to end them now," one of the Templars ordered.

"No. No more of this," another said weakly.

"Leave them to bleed out, then. We'll tell Greagoir now that we had no choice but to stab them when we caught them running in the hall. Hurry." Another said.

They hadn't realized Anders was no longer dying, fear overtaking them as they rushed out of the room.

Anders pushed himself up, pulling Elina to him, holding her in his arms. She was bleeding out. Her eyes were the palest blue he'd ever seen. "You're safe," she breathed. "Jowan's safe."

He tried giving her magic back. He put his hands over the wound in her side and pressed, forcing the bleeding to stop, for skin to knit itself together. "You're safe, too." He couldn't heal it completely. He needed to get her to someone with stronger magic.

"I was so scared of hurting someone, but I didn't." Elina mumbled, her eyelashes fluttering as she struggled to stay awake. "Do you think it will snow soon?" She asked softly. "I really want to feel the snow again." She convulsed, and Anders had no magic left to give.

Anders cradled her, pulling her into his lap. The bleeding had slowed, his hands covered in red. "You will. We can stand at our window this winter."

Rain slapped against the window, the only sound in the now silent room.

"I don't think I'll be able to stand. I can't feel my legs." Elina choked, and Anders pressed his lips against her hair.

He stood slowly, holding her to his chest. She gasped in pain at the movement. "We're going to see the rain again- to feel it. You're going to be fine." Anders answered thickly, feeling wetness on his cheeks.

"It's cold," Elina's voice was barely audible, tilting her face into his chest.

Anders moved to the door, trying not to jostle the girl in his arms. "We'll get you warmed up. You'll be fine." If he said it enough, it had to be true.

She let out a tiny sigh. "I used to be afraid of leaving from where the Templars weren't watching. That I would hurt someone. But I know I won't now."

"You'd never hurt anyone, Elina," Anders pushed the door open, making it into the abandoned hallway. He didn't care if someone heard them. They would have to kill him to stop him now. He had to get to the First Enchanter. He was the best healer in the tower. He could fix this. He could save Elina.

"I did. But I swore I never would again. And I haven't. And I still managed to keep you safe." Elina was struggling to speak now. She was growing weaker.

Anders was on the stairs now. He had to save her. "Stay with me, Elina."

"You're the one who promised not to leave," Elina looked up at him, a crooked smile on her lips. "I never said that I wouldn't."

"Don't you dare," Anders made it to the top of the stair well. If she was heavy in his arms, if his muscles were protesting, he didn't notice.

"You should feel the rain again, Anders. And the snow. Not from the window. Not in the tower." Elina lifted her hand, pain flashing across her face as she did so. She let her fingers drift across his cheek.

"We both will. We'll run away." Anders was pleading with her, begging her to survive.

Her hand fell away.

"Elina. No." Anders didn't stop—couldn't. He made it to the First Enchanter's door, kicked it. It wouldn't open. He kicked again. "Help!" He shouted, Elina motionless in his arms. "Help her!"

He sank to the ground, sobbing. "We're going to run away. We'll go to the Free Marches. We'll live together." He kissed her forehead, her nose. "I'll ask you to marry me. We'll leave all of this behind. Just us."

She didn't answer him. He was crying so hard he couldn't breathe. Every part of him hurt. His lungs burned. He wanted to run with her. To run far away. Run to anywhere that wasn't here.

But she was gone.


	10. Chapter 10- Left Unsaid

_Solitary- Left Unsaid_

Cullen could hear the shouting from down the hall. The last week had been nothing but chaos, constant problems arising. He couldn't help but think, _Maker, not again, _as he hurried toward the din.

"Stay away!"

"Calm down, Apprentice."

"They killed her! They killed Elina!"

"Cullen, help us restrain him," Thomas barked.

The young recruit hurried over to Anders, who was shouting, twisting in Walter's grasp. The First Enchanter was standing in the doorway to his quarters, ordering Thomas, "Pick her up and bring her inside. Quickly."

"Don't take her away from me," Anders' eyes were bloodshot, his face haggard. His robes were stained red, expression twisted into something that made Cullen's throat tighten. The apprentice strained against Walter, desperately trying to get to Elina's motionless form.

Thomas scooped her up in his arms, and Cullen saw blood darkening her robes as well. Could she really be dead? How? Why? What had happened?

"Don't touch her! Your kind murdered her. She was defenseless to stop you," Anders roared as Cullen tried to grab his shoulders. "She's gone. She's dead and it's… it's…"

Anders couldn't even see the Templars who held him as he jerked wildly, trying to escape their hands. Rage boiled inside him, but it was grief that blurred his vision. _She's gone. She's gone. Maker, no. _And then he was gasping for air, "Maker, no. No. Not Elina." His hands were covered in her blood.

"You heard Greagoir's orders. Take him back to solitary," one of the Templars said.

Solitary. The Maker-Forsaken reason this had all started. Elina had come down to help him. And now she was dead for it. Anders couldn't tell if it was fury or anguish that choked him now, but he couldn't breathe.

"But Apprentice Elina- is she really-"

"Focus, Cullen, before this one gets crazed enough to use magic on us." There was a sharp blow to the side of Anders's head, and dull pain thudded through him, his chin dropping to his chest.

His legs didn't move, and he couldn't offer any resistance as the Templars dragged him away. But he didn't feel like it mattered anymore. All the fighting, the running, the crying. Elina was gone, and there was nothing he could do about it. And it had been his fault.

Cullen risked a glance over his shoulder as he and Walter winded around the hall, the First Enchanter's door no longer visible. "What happened?" He asked, slinging one of the apprentice's arms around his shoulders now that Anders had gone limp.

"Don't ask me. Thomas practically grabbed me from guard duty on the second floor and dragged me to Senior Enchanter Wynne's room. It was empty, except for blood on the floor. We ran up to the third floor and found this one in front of the First Enchanter's door, with Apprentice Elina dead in his arms."

Cullen felt a chill come over him. She really was dead then. She seemed—had seemed- so brave and kind. "How?"

"Judging from his ranting," Walter put the apprentice's arm around his shoulder as well, "I'd say it was some of our own. Maker knows what happened. It's been a witch hunt here recently, and the poor girl probably paid the price."

"Y- you really think it was a Templar?" Cullen readjusted his grip on Apprentice Anders, who appeared to be completely unconscious now.

Walter sighed. "Who else would it be, kid?"

Cullen felt silent as they began walking down the stairs; he was grateful at least that Anders wasn't offering resistance. He did realize, however, he was putting Anders back where Elina had tried so fervently to get him out. It felt wrong.

"I can't carry this lout on my own," Walter heaved, and Cullen realized he'd paused on the steps. He hurriedly began walking in time with Walter again.

"I don't understand. Why would anyone would go after Apprentice Elina?" Cullen mumbled dazedly.

Walter attempted to shrug with Anders's arm still over his shoulder. "She's caused a lot of trouble, and began this craze. I don't know why someone would kill her, though."

Cullen suddenly couldn't ask anymore questions. "She didn't deserve to die," was his quiet response. "She never hurt anyone."

_ Elina opened her eyes. Something she hadn't expected to do. It had been so cold before, but now it was warm and soft. She sat up slowly, finding herself blinking in a dull light. There was patchy grass beneath her feet, bleak and dying._

_ A wisp floated in front of her, though it was much larger than any she'd ever seen. Heat radiated from it, cutting through the chill. _

_ "We don't have much time." _

_ The voice came from the wisp, and Elina took a step back, eyes scanning her surroundings. There were twisted, dark statues, and the sky was dark, with strange green ribbons winding through it. _

_ "Am I in the fade?" Elina asked the wisp tentatively. She knew spirits of the dead passed through the fade before they went on, and she supposed this must be it now. She felt relatively calm for someone who had just died._

_ "Yes, and it is not long before I must send you back," the wisp said, though it was more of a soft sigh. "I can only keep you here for a brief time."_

_ Elina felt her breath catch, though now she was in the fade, she wasn't sure if breathing was truly necessary. "Are you the force that's been helping me? Giving me power when I couldn't cast spells?"_

_The wisp glided closer, and Elina stood her ground. "Yes." _

"_Thank you," Elina told the wisp. She pushed on, realizing she had to understand despite not wanting to know the answer. "Are you… are you a demon?"_

"_It is not just demons who are interested in your world." The silvery light was growing brighter. "Some spirits are meant to help. I am what your world has named a Spirit of Compassion. I do not often interfere, and I did not intend to protect you at first. Your mentor is the one who drew me close."_

"_My mentor? Wynne?" Elina asked, trying to make sense of it all. She was beginning to feel dizzy, as if she had no ties to the ground and was merely falling._

"_I watch her, for the moment," the spirit answered. "There will come a time when she will need me, and the world will need her. And I will give up my existence for her own." The air continued to warm, the statues and sky harder to see in the brightness of the wisp. "It is out of your hands. And the time for you to return is now, before your human body grows cold." _

_Everything around Elina vanished, leaving her in light alone. "I don't understand. How did you find me? Why have you been protecting me?" She worried for a moment she sounded ungrateful, but she could feel something pulling her away._

"_The answers are the same for both questions. Do you not protect others as well? There is a reason I heard you," the spirit whispered. "You must go, or you will be drawn on into the beyond."_

_ The wisp was on her then, everywhere around her, sunlight and silk holding her and burning bright._

_ Elina gasped for breath. "Wait-"_

Anders felt the air dampen and realized they had reached their destination. Solitary.

_You should feel the rain again, Anders. And the snow. Not from the window. Not in the tower. _

Anders wouldn't let them put him back in that damn cell. Not this time.

_ We'll run away._

He'd run away.

He could take the Templars by surprise, snatch their keys, and lock the main solitary cell with them inside. The chaos of the night would have left the front doors unguarded. Anders almost laughed at it all. He'd been thrown in solitary for trying to escape before. He'd tried all different ways. Climbing out of windows, blasting holes in walls, and now he was going to simply try to walk out of the front gates.

The door to his cell creaked open, and he clenched his jaw, trying keeping his body just as limp as before. With no magic, they wouldn't suspect anything. The key that had unlocked the main cell door was still in the older Templar's hands.

Anders lunged for it without a second thought.

There was a shout, but Anders was already running, slamming the door to solitary behind him and locking it. And then he was racing up the stairs.

_Your fault. Your fault. _Anders felt tears stinging his eyes as he reached the first floor. _She's gone. _No one in the main library. No one to stop him.

The Templars had killed her with their swords, but Elina had died because of him. He wanted nothing to do with_ this_ anymore. No mages, no Templars. He just wanted to run.

He'd wanted to run with her, but she was gone.

Guilt ripped him apart as he tore through the halls. He wanted to escape, he wanted to forget—forget the way she grew cold in his arms, forget the way her eyes fluttered closed, forget that the blood on his hands was hers.

He didn't know that a burst of healing and a spirit's touch forced air back into her lungs. To Anders, Elina Amell was dead.

"She's alive!" Irving sagged, catching himself on the bedpost. He was getting too old for this. The apprentice's heart had still been beating weakly when he began healing her, but her magic, all sense of person, had vanished. Irving decided not to tell the Templar standing with him that Elina must have been drawn into the fade, though he watched her closely now. If she had been possessed by a demon, there would be time to sort it out when she was no longer bleeding to death. "Now," Irving rounded on Thomas. "Care to explain what happened?"

"I think I can do that," Greagoir appeared in the doorway. "Thomas, I have four Templars being taken to holding cells in solitary as we speak. Make sure they're kept away from Apprentice Anders." Maker's Breath, he'd never expected to be imprisoning his own men.

Thomas saluted sharply before leaving as Greagoir moved to stand next to Irving. "She lives?" The Knight-Commander asked. The apprentice's face was chalky, her chest rattling as she breathed.

"Yes," Irving answered sharply. "Are you going to tell me how in Andraste's name Elina nearly died?"

"My Templars were displeased at my recent orders. I assume they thought I was being too soft on the mages, and took matters into their own hands." Greagoir answered, exhaustion now settling deep in his bones. "They lied at first, but I pressed and one admitted they thought Elina was possessed, and that they didn't trust me to keep the Circle safe from her."

"That doesn't excuse-"

"It doesn't," Greagoir interrupted the First Enchanter, caring little that Irving's eyes flashed with anger. "This is only an example of how precarious the balance is between order and chaos. We have a strained relationship, Irving, but I must keep control somehow."

The First Enchanter glared at Greagoir for a few moments before sighing. "Your men believe you're being too soft."

Greagoir nodded tiredly. "I will do what I can to bring them back in line so no other instances like this happen. They will be taught, firmly, not to assume treachery and possessions at every turn." Greagoir ran a hand through his graying hair. He would be discouraging suspicion, but it would mean more lenience for the mages. After two near deaths, one of which was a somehow a true death, Greagoir couldn't risk more paranoid Templar attacks. He could only pray to the Maker that it wouldn't lead to his men missing something.

"Will the men that attacked Elina be brought to justice?" Irving pressed.

"Anders?"

The Knight-Commander and First Enchanter looked down at the apprentice. Her eyes were still closed but her fingers twitched, as if she was trying to lift her arm.

"He's fine, Elina," Irving took her hand.

"Jowan?" She croaked.

Irving looked at Greagoir with concern.

"There have been no disturbances in the apprentice quarters reported, " Greagoir answered, watching as the girl's mouth twisted.

"Safe?"

"You're safe here," Irving told her, wondering if he should send for a lyrium potion to restore his powers. He'd only been able to close her wound before he'd been drained, but she needed energy after all the blood she'd lost.

"Not me," Elina whispered, eyes still squeezed shut. "Is anyone hurt? Is everyone safe?"

The Knight-Commander was almost exasperated with the girl. She was never concerned enough about her own health. "There have been no other injuries that I know of, save your own."

"Elina!" Apprentice Jowan burst through the doorway, his dark hair sticking up in all directions.

Greagoir sighed, though it was almost amusing to him that the boy had somehow found out about Elina's condition. Where she was, Jowan usually was there as well. "She needs rest, Apprentice," Greagoir told him impatiently.

"Is she alright? What happened?" Jowan was at the bed before Greagoir could answer, brushing the girl's hair away from her face.

Elina's eyes fluttered open, eyes a brilliant, unnatural green shining from her pale face. "It's a long story. But I'm fine, don't worry," she whispered.

"Worrying's always been your job, El. But you've made me an expert at it," Jowan muttered.

Greagoir rubbed his chin, having more than he could handle for a lifetime, not just for the night. Tomorrow, he needed to get an official statement from Elina, and had a new batch of letters to write. He had no time for reuniting apprentices when four of his men were in solitary after attempting murder and-

"Elina! Andraste's Knickers, what happened to you?" Apprentice Therese shouted as she charged into the room.

Greagoir threw his hands in the air. "I suppose curfew is just a recommendation now!"

Therese and Jowan ignored him, but he heard a weak, "Sorry, Knight-Commander," as he turned to leave.

"Don't apologize, Apprentice Elina," Greagoir turned back to face her, the First Enchanter moving away from his own bed to let the apprentices have at each other. "Just rest. The two of you," he eyed Jowan and Therese, "watch over her and make sure she sleeps."

"Knight-Commander," Elina struggled to sit up, and Greagoir watched almost fondly as Jowan fussed over her pillows. Elina's mouth pulled into the ghost of a smile. "Is this a good time to ask you to eliminate solitary?"

Anders collapsed on the shore as the sun rose, dragging himself along the rocks. His clothes were soaked, his hair hanging in his eyes, the chill of morning nothing compared to the cold that seeped under his skin.

His teeth chattered as he clambered to his feet. They'd be looking for him soon. He had to run. And he couldn't stop, or they'd bring him back. And he couldn't go back. He wouldn't.

He was the reason Elina was dead, and he'd never even told her that he loved her.

xxxx

The first snow of the year came three days before her harrowing, and the apprentice with unnatural green eyes stood at her favorite window, hand outstretched to catch the snowflakes as they fell.

_Is it snowing wherever you are, too? _The apprentice thought to herself, looking out over the lake in hazy gray light.

Elina Amell had always followed the rules. She was quick to learn that in the Circle, there was a high price to be paid for disobedience.

But she had broken the rules for someone. Someone who had escaped the tower thinking she was dead. Someone who she would do anything for, and who would do anything for her. Someone who would've been standing next to her, grinning as snow kissed his skin.

Someone she realized far too late that she loved.

* * *

_**A/N: Aaaand, it's done! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. :) This is the first fanfic I started writing, so I would love to hear any constructive criticism you have or your thoughts on this story in general! Thank you again for reading!**_

_***I'm also contemplating writing Elina/Anders set during Awakening! The two could use some cuddles and smiles about now. **_


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